some famous guy once said The Root of all Suffering is Desire


forget who said it. maybe they all did.

but it is hard to look at a kickass swimming pool

or a shiny car with a Star Wars dashboard

or a puppy smoking a cigar with a kitten being dealt blackjack by a baby mule with a garter around his bicep

and not say, why yes, I want that.

I want that very much.

one of the nice things about living in LA is you get to watch people get the things

in some cases all the things

and then still not be happy.

you also get to be friends with kids of parents who got that pool or monkey or dinosaur

and deep down all they really wanted was

more cocaine.

it was probably like this way back in the dark ages too.

but its fascinating to watch people keep doing the same thing

keep hitting on 19

even though the dog barks

and the mule snorts.

dear tony, im about to make the worst mistake of my life

hollywood shoes

what should i do?


someone who has made a few mistakes

dear someone,

i used to think my advice was good but the more i see how people do things, the more i realize i dont know jack.

i think i know, but i do it and sometimes it works out sometimes it doesnt.

a chicken flipping a coin would have as much success with my life choices as i have.

a monkey spinning a roulette wheel would do better at picking what should happen on my MLB fantasy teams.

its not that ive made completely regrettable choices in Life

well theres that one, and that other one, and probably 2 others

but for the most part my decisions were pretty easy to make and you would have made them too.

the best decision i ever made was starting this blog a thousand years ago.

which was also something i probably shouldnta done, at work, on a work computer.

even if it was during my two gov’t mandated 15-minute breaks, and lunch

the thrill of being found out or caught or booted because of it all lent to part of the edge.

in fact so much of the fun of life is being with the wrong girl,

partying in the wrong house, wearing the wrong hat, driving the wrong car

robinson carusos dad told him to take the middle safe path

but aint no one writing no books about robinson carusos boring dad.

as long as your terrible mistake doesnt involve hurting anyone else, do your thing

yolo, miley cyrus, snapchat , stand with cruz for all i care

but wear a condom,