chicagoland, your hero has returned from the war

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thank you for your potpourri parades your double plungers of love and wallpaper that says tony in chinese

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thanks for dissing the lions for no good reason at the grocery store

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thanks for hosting the opening game for da bears’ super bowl season the week i am home

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thanks for taking care of the shopping cart guys, who in turn will take care of you and you, and even you

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thanks for keeping my name on the grocery store even after i sold it to speculators at a ridiculous profit

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and thank you thank you thank you for allowing Super Tony’s to present such a wide variety of sausages.

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thank you mom for taking me directly from o’hare to portillo’s after my uneventful flight of babies crying and kardashians on tv

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LA swears they know a few things about hot dogs but come on, Chicago airport dogs put other cities’ real dogs to shame.

ribs

not to mention the ribs. which is why your prodigal son is happy, oh so happy, to be back home.

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but next time alert me when hangover park has a car and motorcycle show, because seriously, what could be better than that?