Ate at McDonald’s again today








Then ate some delicious salmon with Scott

Then drank pumpkin beer with Matt

Then had a super fun time with many secret ppl while we sorta watched the Dodgers lose.

Took the train lots. That might be my favorite part of NYC.

The smells and the trashy things are the least.

The weather has been great.

And ALL of the conversations.

Every time I come here I love it.

Tomorrow imma eat at momofuku and then fly the momofuku back homofuku.

things i like and dont like about nyc, a film


i like that whereever you go theres people. i like people. especially on the streets. especially when theyre going somewhere. especially when theyre dressed all crazy. especially when theyre napping on a park bench as squirells are seriously eating nuts like in the cartoons.


i like that stuff is for sale everywhere. its capitalism like al gore intended. stuff stuff stuff even though everyone has little places. no bother. they still want stuff and the city has lots of stores and lots of things and they all cost money and somehow people have money. maybe cuz they dont have cars.


the food is good but a lot of the food is not good. you need Sass to make you a google map or Amy to take you to the right pupusa truck or matt to cook up some duck or the rice pudding lady to make you a huge bowl of rice pudding but eventually you will have really delicious food in your belly and you’ll forget all your cares. as if you had any in the first place. because the bars are open till 4am.


friends are here. lots of them. some youve never met. some youve known forever. and then there are those who pop into town because all roads lead to nyc at some point for everyone and sometimes those roads are subway stops and sometimes those roads are streets where theyve got 5-6 traffic cops making sure the traffic is flowing. LA could learn a lesson in keeping the flow flowing. maybe the 405 needs traffic cops at the 101 somehow. maybe in space ships. or jet packs.


the street art is incredible and plentiful and colorful which in a city thats very dirty is a welcome relief. it makes you forget about the rodents and the terrible smells and the fact that theres not a good national league team anywhere nearby. if michaelangelo was around today, no doubt he would be plastering posters of young naked boys on the walls and tagging the ceilings of busses GELO FOOL!


theres always transportation. be it a cab or an Uber or a subway or a bus or a gypsy cab or a space ship or someones car or a ferry or a tank or a moped theres always a way to get to where you need to go. and people are always going there. its a zig zag ballet. and even if you miss your subway in brooklyn at 1am because youre drunk and you were startled by vermin and it made you think that F train wasnt YOUR f train another F train will come through in just a few. cleaner than the first. or a cab with a half naked rihanna picture will cruise past. or a limo or a sedan with an italian pisan. or you could always hitchhike like in olden times.


they have not forgotten. they have built it better and sleeker. theyre taking their sweet time, true, but this one aint ever coming down. theres an old bible story about the stairway to heaven. they called it the tower of babel. its where douglas adams got the babblefish idea from. even back then God knew that if people worked as a team they could make a tower that could go straight to heaven like jack and the beanstalk. something tells me this new tower will have everything any building ever wanted plus one very important thing: love. which most super towers dont. a few blocks from the new wtc is a store that sells I <3 NY tshirts and all the money goes to charity because the <3 is blue and it signifies 9/11. that store is always busy and people buy tons of the shirts that are never discounted and even i bought one because how cant you <3 NY when youre at ground zero because thats not aboot <3ing NY its about <3ing <3.

when a former or current xbi agent catches and releases a thief


we take everything they have including their passwords and shoes.

it’s sorta our calling card for other terrible crooks that the xbi is in your town

and we dont play.

so a funny thing happened on broadway the other day. one super bad guy was there.

and he saw me and i saw him and he was eating a plate of something

and he thought about running but if you run it only makes things worse.

so he slowly put his food down on the street and his drink.

and took off his shoes

and started sobbing.

and i said, cry fucker.


i didnt come all the way to nyc Not to catch you

so to watch you weep only makes things better.

and just like that nyc and the planet was a smidge upgraded.

meanwhile LA seems to know the cat’s away.