well i had my big fancy interview yesterday with the big fancy company and the big fancy people.
because i never want to let down my mom, instead of keeping it real by wearing an AC/DC shirt and flip flops, i had my khakis cleaned and pressed at the chinese laundry lady down the street along with a dress shirt.
even though my feet were complaining about all the awesome NYC walking i was doing i switched from normal shoes to hard dress shoes at the mcdonalds across the street. so i looked like a common day sell out.
met the nice people, we walked through the big building, sat in a nice office and did the interview. somewhere along the way i sang for them.
swinging party by the replacements, to be specific. as covered by 16-year-old ingénue Lorde.
Bring your own lampshade, somewhere there’s a party
Here it’s never ending, can’t remember when it started
Pass around the lampshade, there’ll be plenty enough room in jail
If being wrong’s a crime, I’m serving forever If being strong is what you want, then I need help here with this feather If being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side At the swingin’ party down the line
i’ll admit it’s weird to fly across the country for a job you dont know much about.
for people who are interested in you but who don’t truly know your resume. and who still don’t know how much they wanna pay you.
for a job that will make you pick up and move to a brand new city that is pretty different from the one you’ve been living in for quite a while.
but i guess im not the most normal person nor do i live the most normal life. #thankGod
however somewhere near the end of the interview we all learned that they were looking for someone who actually had experience doing something that i have no experience with.
im no dummy (usually), im a fairly good communicator, and sales is near and dear to my heart which is good because sales is life. but one reason i have done pretty well in the last couple jobs ive had is because i was perfect for those jobs and i had a bit of experience before i was called up to the big leagues.
this is definitely a big league gig and if i were to succeed i would have to become the rookie of the year. which isn’t impossible, but it’s a risk im not sure any of us wants to take. which is a bit sad because they are fantastic people and it seems like a kickass project.
but if theres one thing i hate hate hate hate it’s when people are in jobs they have no business being in. especially after they realize that they suck at it. by staying they are hurting other people’s dreams, and theyre only there out of selfishness laziness and the fear of moving on.
i never want to be that sort of asswipe.
the way i look at it i have about 20 more years to rock. which isnt that long. time flies. so during that time i want to use all of the priceless experience ive garnered that led up to whereever we’re at today and then kick it up to the next level. that way when i peace out i can look back at this long strange trip and say f yeah that was killer.
and i didnt ruin anything for anyone else. and i helped good people along the way. and i grew as a person. and when st. peter lists all the cruddy things i did he takes a deep breath and says But and lists off all the amazing things i did.
and little cherubs drop from the sky, the gates open, and in the faint distance i hope to hear jimi say, welcome to the swinging party.
so sorry LA, i guess you’ve gotta put up with me for a little while longer.