theres three things i couldnt live my life without

bargains - metallica

music, movies, and tv

and coca cola.

yesterday this very wise man wrote on my facebook wall: i couldnt name one Lou Reed song to save my life.

and i thought what sort of life are you leading where you dont know any velvets tunes by name

i dont mean that in a judgemental way, more a curious way

what

sort of life are you leading where you dont wake up on sundays to sunday morning

or when youre climbing a roof to align a directv dish you dont hum a little satellite of love

or when someones mean to you you really dont say

vicious, you hit me with a flower.

tv is constantly on except when im blogging

and the movies is seriously something i try to do once a week

this week the vistas got 12 years a slave which might be a bit heavy after seeing capt phillips

but i used to have this deal i made with myself to see all the movies the vista shows

since its such a great theatre and if you go before 5pm its $6.

perhaps someone would look at me and ask well what sorta life do you have left

after consuming all of that media, and the internet, and sports, and the blogosphere

and the bible, and the drip drip drip of my kitchen sink

and the mexican chatter at the taco truck.

other day i was getting some grilled chicken and this muscular black dude comes up to me and says i dont need any money but i could use your phone, dont worry he sees me im not gonna run off with your iphone

and he looks over by the subway stop and sure enough theres a sheriff car up on the sidewalk near the fence and hes looking at us.

black dude holds out a piece of paper with a 323 number and i say fine, dial it up man.

and we stood there for an uncomfortably long period of time where he talked to this dude on vermont and 3rd? oh no, vermont and 103rd. well do you want me to come over or not?

look im a personal trainer, your people are going to like me, dont worry about that. so what time? well why would your phone be in airplane mode for a few hours?

maybe i’ll just get on this vermont bus and head down there. i dont like to be in your part of town at dark. so 5? ok i’ll call you i a few hours.

thanks brotha.

i sanitized my phone as soon as i got home cuz the whole thing gave me the willies.

which is weird because i bet you that guy could name a lou reed song.