1. Sunday, October 6, 2013

    today is sam younges birthday, shes 23 

    sam in a nice little outfitwhen sass’s bff sam came to LA last spring to visit i didnt busblog it because the entire night seemed like a freaky dream

    sass is mysterious and sweet

    and cool and in control

    and sam is tall and blonde and eternally happy

    and chatty with long

    long long legs

    that go right back up to canada.

    they said they wanted to watch a hockey game with me

    which all on its own seemed like some beautiful fantasy

    but it was real.

    i was all, hmmmm three tickets to staples to watch vancougar vs the kings?

    lemme see what i can do.

    but they said no no we wanna go to your favorite bar

    where the beers are $3

    and the waitresses dress like school girls.

    so i said ooooooookaaaaay

    and wondered what the catch was.

    the catch was they really wanted to get drunk and watch hockey in a bar filled with drunken americans

    but after the game was over they didnt want the party to stop so i said how about we go to don antonios i mean el compadre across from guitar center and have some real margaritas

    and maybe get serenaded by a trio of mariachis

    sam and sassand who knows maybe watch some rock stars get wooed by a record label in one of those dark booths in the back.

    strangely enough the ladies loved loved loved the flaming drinks

    as big as their heads

    and didnt seem to mind when jack white interrupted our conversation

    to offer them roses.

    a few months ago the xbi flowed me some cash to do some freelance work for them

    and because i was eyeing cat food at the 99 cent store i took them up on it.

    turned out they wanted me to get info on young sam younge!

    after a week i gave them all the details

    AND HERE WE ARE MONTHS LATER AND STILL NO CHEQUE SO HERES THE INFO

    FOR THE WORLD TO SEE

    sam was born in toronto where she was forced to learn ballet, violin, and cross country skiing.

    her parents ran a small furrier import/export business known for mink pants – a fad that spread across canada briefly in the mid 90s.

    she rebelled by saying she would never wear pants ever again and has pretty much lived up to that threat.

    believe it or not but 16 year old 6 foot blondes in Canada are allowed free entry to whereever they want

    so she got a job at american apparel, met sass and traveled the world.

    turned out her favorite part was the mountains,

    where this summer she sent me this picture of her in a canadian limo

    sam in a boat

    her favorite holiday is halloween

    her dog pepper is a pisces

    she prefers hard cider over beer, but will settle for PBR

    and pink champagne

    out of a coffee mug.

    todays birthday girl moved to vancouver because thats what every canadian should do at least once

    shes never been to las vegas

    she has a tattoo that said busblog

    but magically turned into a hanger right before i filed my report

    hanger tattoo

    if she has twins she wants to name one angus

    and the other neil.

    even though it really should be angus and malcolm cuz come on

    but life isnt fair.

    happy birthday anyways.