when a former or current xbi agent catches and releases a thief


we take everything they have including their passwords and shoes.

it’s sorta our calling card for other terrible crooks that the xbi is in your town

and we dont play.

so a funny thing happened on broadway the other day. one super bad guy was there.

and he saw me and i saw him and he was eating a plate of something

and he thought about running but if you run it only makes things worse.

so he slowly put his food down on the street and his drink.

and took off his shoes

and started sobbing.

and i said, cry fucker.


i didnt come all the way to nyc Not to catch you

so to watch you weep only makes things better.

and just like that nyc and the planet was a smidge upgraded.

meanwhile LA seems to know the cat’s away.