although if i did i would totally buy this toilet

and one for all of my friends.

and one for people who were mean to me

the purpose of life, to me, is for two things

first, even though it’s not in the bible, i want to believe that when we die, on our way to Heaven (fingers crossed) we take this awesome space shuttle to Paradise

and on that ride, we get to hang out with recently dead people from all around the universe

where we talk about our lives and how Earth was different from their planets.

i think one of our purposes of this life is to have kickass stories to tell these strangers.

and since we are about to get Judged we better not exaggerate or, God forbid, lie.

my guess is many of the people on other planets don’t have money. so saying oh i had Matchbox 20 money isn’t going to impress your new buddy from Zip, so maybe its better to tell some tales that are universal

and sweet.

like, omg i had this blog and nothing in it was true and from it i got to meet the sweetest people from all around our globe.

stuff like that.

the other purpose of life, i think, is to be able to tell St. Peter why you think you should be able to get into Heaven. especially after he reels off all the crappy crud you did down here. especially as you hear all the party sounds coming from the other side of the pearly gates.

that, to me, is the part i think i have to work on. storytelling im good with, but what am i gonna say to St. Peter, a guy who has seen and heard it all, that is gonna be all, sure step right this way?

lately ive been nice to these stray cats. not because of St. Peter, and not because i like cats all that much, but because maybe some of what we should be doing down here as humans are things that other animals cant do. like be fearless, like be super loving, and super smart.

you know, all the things Congress seems to struggle with. ok gotta go to sleep now and dream of running for not congress.