1. Wednesday, December 11, 2013

    A TO Tony fan asks: Will Rob Ford will be re-elected as mayor in the next election? 

    chris farley

    heres the problem with Canada: you’re so lovable.

    even your trainwrecks are the most huggable, forgivable, sweetest trainwrecks ever.

    how is your largest city’s mayor a fat crackhead? why is he so honest? where does that accent come from?

    WHY CANT WE HAVE A MAYOR LIKE HIM?

    obvs we don’t know his politics, but who cares about that. apparently you stripped him of many of his powers.

    now you have a powerless court jester running around knocking over ladies with his big belly.

    where are the Rob Ford dolls? where is the Rob Ford candy bars? where is the Rob Ford Betty Ford sobriety coins?

    yes i think he will be re-elected because he is the finest in canadian entertainment since pamela anderson.

    the man just wants to lower taxes. while getting drunk. while getting high. while hanging out with hookers.

    and being barraged by the press in front of his modest home.

    this is your creation TO and you shouldnt be embarrassed. we see ourselves when we see Rob Ford.

    and by ourselves, of course we mean our lovable uncle who lives in a van down by the river.

    i hope he runs for Prime Minister.