nothing in here is true

  1. Thursday, December 26, 2013

    must be something strange i kissed 

    how are the cure not in the rock and roll hall of fame?

    this song is called Return. it’s off the Cure’s 10th album Wild Mood Swings (1996).

    four singles were released from that album, this wasn’t any of them.

    who is that prolific that they can give you 20 years of music leading up to their 10th album

    and the so called fifth best song is something as joyful and wonderful and sweet and sassy

    as Return?

    if i was the commissioner of baseball i wouldnt start the 2014 season

    until the rock hall honored robert smith for 38 years of beautiful pop tunes

  2. i keep thinking every day is friday 

    jack rightsometimes you can be super mean to someone, rude even, and they love it

    sometimes you can be really sweet to someone, even tell em you love them

    and it’s basically the worst thing you coulda done to them.

    i know one girl. her parents never said they loved her. grew up ridiculously sweet.

    i know another, her parents told her they loved her all the time.

    turned into a stripper.

    not that theres anything wrong with that.

    Blanket slinked up my stairs yesterday and sauntered in my flat and found me eating a tuna fish sandwich

    which, as it turns out are stray cats’ favorite snack.

    after he was done ruining it for both of us he cruised into my kitchen and disappeared.

    i gave the other half of the sandwich to Sketchy and looked for a flashlight, found one, and hunted for Blanket.

    never found him and last night i woke up and there he was on my dining room table.

    i went after him and he ran into the kitchen again and hid behind the fridge.

    long story short: theres a secret portal to another dimension behind my refridgerator

    and thats where all these damn cats are coming from.

    so today i nailed it up real good.

    down heres freaky enough.

  3. Wednesday, December 25, 2013

    two thousand and 14 years ago today a little baby had a price on his head 

    little house

    dude wasnt even born yet and the king of the land wanted him murdered.

    the baby’s dad had one job. get a motel room.

    bro didn’t have to impregnate the momma, didnt have to have a good job, big house, nothing

    just had to find a place to deliver this angel unto the world.

    today is the birthday of an actual angel.

    the dictionary says an angel is “a spiritual being believed to act as an attendant, agent, or messenger of God, conventionally represented in human form with wings and a long robe.”

    so minus the wings thats what todays birthday boy was: a living angel sent here to be our agent


    and attendant.

    when i think about Christianity i think about those things.

    even in the old testament humans were made by God to attend to the Earth and all the cool freaky things down here

    and some of the freaky things are the people who wanna get in the way of Good.

    or who i find more interesting: the people who get in the way and don’t even realize it.

    Herod wasn’t the only hater Jesus had in his life.

    in fact it’s easier to count the number of people who were all Team Jesus than those who weren’t buying it.

    even his so called disciples turned their back on him – and worse, their hearts – at some point.

    but Jesus kept on trucking because he knew his role: to be our attendant – and who are we?

    idiots who eat apples because talking snakes tell us to.

    morons who lose our minds over things that look pretty in the right light.

    and lemmings who fall for the same traps that our predecessors did no matter how much we claim we’ve learned.

    thats who Jesus signed up to sacrifice everything for

    for some unknown reason thats never fully explained in the good book

    which means it could only be one thing

    if it’s not logical, it must be for love.

    happy birthday you crazy angel

    thank you for making us in your loving image.

    for no good reason other than to see what else can be done using true angelic love.

  4. Tuesday, December 24, 2013

    obey sample sale: giant success 

    obey sign outside

    if you know me, you know that my favorite part of Christmas is the world famous Obey Sample Sale.

    the only nuisance for this 114 year old man is the lines can sometimes be 3-4 hours,

    as etienne and i experienced two years ago.

    but a nice busblog reader who works at Obey Giant was nice enough to give me a Friends & Family pass for Friday

    sadly i had to work late Friday so ali was all, hey lets try to get up early on Saturday and go down there

    ali 1

    when we arrived there was a super long line, food trucks, and a band playing

    but ali said, just go ask the nice man eating the burrito if our pass could be accepted today.

    so i thought good thoughts and handed him the pass and he gave ali and i VIP badges  and in 0 seconds we were in!

    obey sign inside

    after selling the xbi mobile i suddenly had a few extra bucks in my paypal account which is dangerous

    because if it has an obey logo, especially an andre the giant logo, i’ll be very tempted to buy it

    obey stencil

    which is even more dangerous thanks to the fact that the VIP badge meant we had no time limit in the warehouse.

    time limit? yes. back in the day Obey realized that the best way to keep the line moving

    is to restrict people’s shopping sprees to just 30 minutes.

    not only does it let more people in the place, but it creates a tad of a frenzied atmosphere

    obey shirts mens

    that mixed with the amazing deals ($40 shirts for $10, $120 jackets for $40, etc)

    and the dj playing punk rock and gangsta rap

    mad house

    had people filling the aisles and stuffing their garbage bags with sweet ass bargains.


    hats were $10 or 3 for $25, for example.

    at those prices who doesn’t want a doberman sitting next to a flaming garbage can hat!?


    or any variety of these chapeaus for yr former fro?!

    empty bins

    needless to say the supplies went fast but the replenishers replenished quickly

    baby shopping

    this lady got the last baby. lucky.

    womens shirts

    indeed they had lots of new stuff including an expanded womens area.

    happy ali

    ali was stoked

    baby checkout

    the baby was exhausted

    for the kids

    and everyone who brought a toy for a kid or food for the hungry got a free cap. these were all who were that sweet.

    checkout lines

    most people had one bag of stuffs. i had two. two bags set me back $230.

    which accounted for two hoodies, a varsity jacket, a backpack, a belt, a striped shirt, a thick flannel, a thin flannel,

    two tshirts, three hats, and a beautiful sweater.

    my booty

    merry christmas has a posse!

  5. Monday, December 23, 2013

    im in a meeting 

    black n white

    but you called me out.

    i *did* call you out. why didnt you call me back?

    you didn’t ring me.

    i most definitely rang you.

    did you leave a message?

    i never leave messages.

    well i thought you butt dialed me.

    no self esteem

  6. Saturday, December 21, 2013

    the end of blogging? 


    on thursday legendary blogger jason kotte declared that blogging died this year


    i think it’s more accurate to say the fad of blogging is dead.

    as jason noted there are still lots and lots of blogs out there and many are really good.

    but simply because it’s no longer the trendy thing doesnt mean it’s dead.

    id argue that now is the time of the real blogging. people nowadays have lots of avenues in which to speak their minds.

    and some can do it in 140 characters.

    or less

    busblog doing its thing

    now that the money aspect is pretty much gone.

    and the struggle to gain and maintain an audience is tougher than ever.

    i argue that if anyone is blogging regularly now, it’s because they mean it.


    there was a time when 22 million people watched super cool fonzie on happy days each week.

    nowadays the cool belongs to don draper on mad men, whose top numbers peak at 2.7 million viewers.

    but no one is saying television is dead.


    if anything they’re saying we’re in the middle of the rebirth of television

    while praising the surplus of really great shows,

    and very entertaining trashy ones.


    why isn’t blogging looked at in the same light.

    who broke the biggest stories in sports this year? deadspin, a blog.

    who broke the biggest stories in news this year? glenn greenwald, one of the best bloggers ever.

    sure he didn’t break the snowden story on a blog, but when you watch him defend himself  on twitter

    you are reminded how good he was running his salon blog up until august of last year.


    speaking of last year, who completely made a fool out of karl rove by mocking him

    as he correctly predicted president obamas reelection as if he had flown into the future and zoomed back

    to accurately call the results in every state in the united states. as if it aint no thing.

    nate silver

    how is blogging dead if at the highest level it has had two of its best years ever?

    it’s a bad thing that lots of lazy would-be bloggers have migrated to pintrest

    twitter or facebook where it’s easier and quicker to share a quickie little idea

    or snapshot of dinner?


    if anything id say that group’s defection has only made the blogosphere leaner and more interesting.

    powerhouses buzzfeed and upworthy might not be traditional blogs, granted

    but they owe a lot of their success to blogging, which they are more similar to than anything else.


    so is it bad that blogging has spun off some of the most successful websites of the last few years?

    of course not


    if anything it proves that blogging still has a lot more to contribute to digital media

    it’s just doing it so fast, and usually so much better than the traditional outlets that cover it

    that it feels like theres no more buzz around it.

    that peace doesn’t mean it’s dead,

    it means we’re in the eye of the hurricane.

  7. Friday, December 20, 2013

    today is kristin pony’s birthday, shes 24 


    if i was president obama theres a few people who id force to blog.

    todays birthday girl is on that list.

    others include: splink

    jennifer lawrence

    courtney love

    vp biden

    hologram tupac

    bob dylan

    and the entire supreme court

    of course theyd probably assassinate me

    but when i got to the pearly gates id get a high five from st. peter for trying.