emilio wants to move to LA. no one knows why


it can’t be because of the food. ours is fine but its so petit. georgia has way better grub


it cant be because of our sports teams. the lakers are horrible and the angels are worse


it cant be for the swimming pools. even david hockney doesnt wanna swim here any more.


and our grooming habits are just bizarro. dudes really want brazilians here? screw manscaping.


real men eat real donuts, not fronuts.


not the fins of sting rays – despite how delicious they are. and amazing. and better than youd expect.


did we mention the fronuts cost as much as a box of Twinkees?


superstar record producers know better than to dive in head first into LA when theyve got a perfectly good thing going

in the dirty south.

if you see this man walking in LA tell him you understand why he just wants to dangle his pinky toe into our pool

and not truly dive in.

LA is all hype anyways.

it’s way better on the silver screen.