my moms not gonna like this but last night i started being an uber driver

tumblr_m3w70kPYzh1qza3r8o1_500ive always wanted to be a cab driver because i always thought bukowski would have been a great cabbie

if he hadnt been a total drunk.

fortunately for LA i’m not a total drunk, so last night when i received my uber phone (finally) i hit the road.

my buddy dave sorta warned me that there might not be a lot of customers out there but he lives in the hoity toity part of town and i live down with the riff raff (comparably) so i figured i might have a better shot at it all. and it was true.

first thing i did was program the phone so it could pay me. sorta important. i dont plan on getting rich from this side job but i would like to use it to pay my rent which is about $1,000 a month.

that means if i uber for 20 days a month id have to make $50 on average a day and boom.

but the real reason i wanted to do it was to be of service to people and drive around this city that i love that ive been in for longer than most of you have been alive.

uber trains you to not turn on your phone unless youre actually in your car and ready to rock. they also say that riders like it when your car is clean on the inside and out. so i drove down to the shell station on sunset to get a car wash because i knew they have specials on tues and weds of $3 for a car wash.

so i got in line. only one person was in front of me. their dryer has been broken since the summer so its actually a pretty fast line. when whattya know beep beep beep im getting my first call!

murphys law someone pulls up behind me and im trapped. so i see the person is on delonge pere which is about a mile away. i want to honk at the lady in front of me because shes trynig to dry her car but its broken lady go already! but i was raised right. also sometimes when you honk at people they stop instead of going.

she pulls through eventually but wants to stop as soon as she gets out which is blocking me. most people i realize actually use the car wash but WHO STOPS AT THE EXIT? ANSWER: LOTS OF PEOPLE AND ITS SO RUDE.

anyway i get on the road and it turns out the guy is a sound engineer at a bar right next to the capital records building on vine. who doesnt know that place so we’re off an running. i go hey do you realize you live right next door to where Bukowski wrote a bunch of awesome novels?

dude, who is sitting in the front seat with me goes, oh yeah Bukowski Court. my manager knew him.

and with that i was all, this is gonna be awesome.

drop him off no problem. $6 fare. i swing around down hollywood and beep beep beep a second call. this is gonna be amazing. something something argyle. where the hell is argyle. IM ON ARGYLE says my in car GPS. oh sweet.

turns out its three gay guys at the W and they wanna go to West Hollywood. they all sit in the back seat, squooshed. super nice guys from outta town. i dont wanna be too chatty but they dont really wanna talk to each other for some reason so theyre asking me quesitons as i drive down santa monica blvd. theyre from outta town. gonna be going to frisco over the weekend. all they wanna do is get smashed at the bar. i admit that weho is not the part of town i know very well, they say no prob we know exactly where this bar is.

and when we get there omg what a scene even from the street. some guy has his shirt off dancing on the table. a big drag queen is making the rounds. from the outside it seems like the funnest party in town. fare was $11 and i head to the sunset strip.

i cruise slowly past the the Viper Room and see a band loading out. theres something happening at the house of blues. nothing happening at Saddle Ranch. then i remember i have a prescription ive gotta pick up at the walrgreens by my house. as im parking there beep beep beep. dude waiting at the Ralphs on Hollywood.

super nice guy with four bags of soy milk. we put it in my trunk. hes blown away that im driving a brand new car. he says he lives in he hollywood hills. and he sure as hell does. hes probably a director or musician of some sort because his neighborhood is sweeeet. $6 fare and i call it a night because its 11:30pm now and ive ubered for 90 minutes. not sure if imma pay rent off it. but today i will start right after work.

what i will say is its fun and im learning the streets a lot better right away.