theres all kinds of people in LA


but only the cool ones ride with me.

first person i picked up was a beautiful indian woman who wanted to go to melrose. she told me her coworker and kids died from an old man driving a car and he ran them over in a cross walk.

we agreed that we never know when we’re gonna die so better live for the day.

she said, yeah but my boyfriend is such a downer, all the time. i said i guess you have to be his little cheerleader and make things better.

and she was all yeah and proceeded to say how hard that would be.

then told me about her friend whose bf cheated on her with 120 girls. i was all 120 girls? i dont even know 120 girls. she said oh they were escorts, and he didnt wear condoms. i was like omg did she catch anything? she said no but shes still with him!

then we were there so we said goodbye.

picked up a guy in hollywood and we got to west hollywood where i learned there is a street called west west yucca.

got back to hollywood picked up a nice couple, he lives in vegas, she lives in coachella and i took them to this mexican restaurant where yr bff samantha younge said the margaritas were as big as yr face.

then headed to dtla via sunset but got called in echo park where this super cute young lady wanted to go to the miracle mile. we talked about musical theatre, frozen, rent, glee, and disney films. `wanna know why i love driving at night so much? we went a little over 7 miles in 17 minutes taking all side streets.


apparently only the hottest ladies use uber because then by the 10 this smoking hot asian girl in a short dress gets in. wants to use Waves to get there even though there was no traffic. so as she was on the phone being passive aggressive with a newish dude for not calling or texting her enough she was giving me directions, which was fine. i had weezers the blue album going a little louder than normal so as to give her some privacy. dropped her off near fountain and thought, i hope that dude takes her advice and calls her more.

then two attractive young ladies asked me to drive them to this hollywood blvd club. they told me that all clubs are for are to drink and get picked up. but they hate that its that way. also that the best way to get them to drink with you is to buy a bottle via bottle service. but also that its ridiculous to spend $200 on a $30 bottle of booze. i was very confused but they were awesome. we agreed that Dillons was the best bar in LA for a while and we miss it. when i dropped them off they said they hope i drive them home.

that made me feel pretty good and it was a fun night so i decided to call it a night, but i kept my phone on and i got beeped near the palladium. i swing over to roscoes chicken and waffles and these two young white kids, sorta dressed up, walk out. they say studio city please. so we get on the freeway towards the val and they tell me that they saw Book of Mormon earlier. i was all you just saw book of mormon and then went to roscoes? what a damn night! very cool kids. parents were hippies, the pretty blonde girl told me. she said her mom hitchhiked from the gulf of mexico to canada back in the day.

she said they slept outside, didnt shave, and just went with the flow.

dropped them off and drove down ventura blvd and saw that weird art up top there. went to the fanciest ralphs ive ever been in. even peed in their amazing mens room. self checked out of there, put my crap in my recycled grocery bags, and drove home sad that the guitarist of devo had died.