things said in my uber car last night


we are not going to Rhonda! We are NOT going to Rhonda!

even though i am an architect, the greenhouses i build are nothing special. not everyone has to be frank gehry.

omg did you have the Spicy Choclate?!

american apparel has baby clothes? im going to have to deck out my nephew!

1977576_10152251423353057_320223570_oasian girls dont want us. we look too middle eastern.

you weren’t drunk, love, you’ve been in america too long.

i couldn’t help it, i thought she was britney spears!

i’m too spontaneous, i don’t even use yelp.

why did you turn off stevie wonder? that was saving my day.

i’m sure the uber driver has rules about that, jenny

90s music is the new 80s music, because we old.

is romeo working the door because i need to call him to assess the sitch

telling people youre athiest is like coming out of the closet.

it is 3:30 in the morning. that was so nice of him. i should have hugged him.

how many group texts are you in?

So she said, “awards season is over, let’s party!”

oh youre paul, you have such a perfect life, youre so perfect, paul, come here, kiss me, im going to hit you

no, me and my friend play a lot of magic the gathering.

can you take us to City Walk, sorry.