he lived right by the beach in venice, he hears the drum circles every night

jodie foster

he said he knew there was trouble when he heard the bullhorns AND the chopper

he and i tried to figure out what we would do if we were the only two cops on the beach surrounded by drumming hippies

beating on bongos as the sun was setting and they wouldnt leave the beach even though now it was closed.

i said, “taze the fattest one!”

he said, “there’d be a riot”.

i was all, “50 hippies, 2 cops, if theres a riot its mostly them beating each other up, wheres the harm?”


we were headed to LAX, he was going to his soon to be brother in laws bachelor party out in the tropics

he wasnt happy about it.

maybe he always packs light, but for a 4 day trip he only had one suit bag and even that looked mostly empty

all that could be in there was one suit, some socks, some underwear, and some board shorts.

maybe a shirt.

probably not any toiletries.

he didn’t want to go. he said he liked the guy who was about to marry his sister, but the whole thing seemed inconvenient.

the bachelor party, not the wedding.

“i guess rich people often make their friends go to expensive islands where they dont know each other, but im not used to it.” he complained as he used Waze to tell me how to best get to the airport.

he was a little late.

i wanted to say things like OMG FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS but is it so wrong for the first world to have problems?

maybe bro didnt wanna go to some beautiful island this week.

maybe he has a life of his own that hes working on.

maybe hes like those hippies, in a groove, enjoying the sun kissing the pacific

digging being one with these others in the most simple human song:

the beat of a drum

in unison with the group.

maybe he just wanted to play a little more in his part of the beach.

we got there in time.

and when he got out i said, “i hope you make due.”

if girls stopped kissing djs we’d all get rock n roll back

LAX looking good

first guy i picked up was a bi coastal new york fashion designer, friends with everyone you know, who wanted to go to culver city.

i have this navigation system in the car that you talk to. it’s taken a while but finally we are beginning to understand each other.

she knows what im saying but pretends she doesnt. shes slow. she talks to much. shes not intuitive.

but when you figure out how to say things… and when, and if youre patient, she will nail it and the ride is a completely easy thing.

but because she’s hard to please, it’s embarrassing to fight with her in front of a customer because you want them to have pure faith in you. for if they do, they can sit back and relax and enjoy the music.

“ever see that movie Her?” i’ll ask the passenger if the nav does weird things turn 4747 north paul street into 4678 nepal, in nepal.

if they say they have seen her i say “well this is the opposite of her. in the movie scarlett johanssons voice totally loves the owner of the operating system. this damn car hates me.

but lately we’re doing ok, so i spoke the address into the system and she got it and we drove towards the beverly center and aimed at the 10.

frame shop

dude said hes getting his benz in a few days and we had a nice talk about ny, dogs, professional dog sitters, paris, lindsay, rents, cars, all the things youd talk about with someone who just moved here.

took the 405 south at 7pm and it was a dream. thats why you have to just try in LA. sure the traffic might be bad

but youre in LA, youre probably going somewhere cool. do it.

so many people just stay home and i think thats such a waste. its like in that one Seinfeld where

someone got a great parking spot and now they dont wanna move the car because its soooo close to their apartment.

dropped him off, he asked for my card, and i was suddenly near playa vista.

secret facebook office

right away i got beeped again and it was for a road she didnt understand, but my uber GPS seemed to think i was close

parked, waited a few minutes and this young product guy from facebook comes in and asks to go to the airport.

great conversation where we hit it off immediately because of my real job.

exchanged some good ideas and soon we were in front of united and shaking each others hands.

its good to have a good feeling inside you when you drop someone off at LAX,

because youre probably not going to get another customer for quite a while.

we are not allowed to take people out of LAX so we have to take this long drive of shame down lincoln

and hope someone gets you in westchester or PV or the marina because venice seems so far away.

drove all the way to santa monica and got a couple going to PF changs about 10 blocks away

then a canadian from alberta who had just been to this really great oyster place

he lived in the choicest part of marina del rey, right next to the venice border on the beach.

he talked fast so i wanted the car to take us there and she did.

dudes got a porsche convertible and basically its cheaper to have uber take him both ways

than it is to park at valet and tip properly.

plus he can drink now.



driving through santa monica and then west la i got this college musician from norway.

i asked him ok do norweigans think swedish girls are hot or do you guys hate them for some reason?

he was all, oh no, i personally think theyre the most beautiful in the world. his english was super good, fyi

barely an accent like these other norweigans i took across town.

then he told me that norway fought off the russians back in the day and that impressed me.

should of asked him about how he felt about russian girls but instead we talked about hockey soccer and music.

he told me hes a singer songwriter and doesnt like hard rock

(but i think hes talking norweigan black death metal)

and electric dance music.

i told him, if girls just stopped kissing djs, the guitar solo would return to earth

i asked, “any of the kids in your playing guitar solos?”


then we talked about the flag. i told him when i was in denmark and sweden i enjoyed all the flags flying there

he told me the norweigan flag is so highly respected it only comes out for national holidays

and family holidays.

then you should put it away

he was very suprised at how good the music scene is here. how so many great bands

play all the time here.

we got stuck in terrible one lane traffic on wilshire under the 405

but who cares im taking tomorrow night off.