im not going to be the person im expected to be any more

my new friend from suadipicked up a nice saudi guy after work yesterday minutes after i turned on my phone.

most of the time when i ask what sort of music they want they say whatever, bro asked for “old school hip hop”.

to me, old school hip hop is run dmc, ll, beastie boys, and maybe the sugar hill gang.

its like saying “old school rock”. that could be something spanning three decades.

eventually i got him to request 2pac. ironically right where we Biggie had been shot (fairfax/wilshire).

as we drove through beverly hills to westwood he told me about what it was like being muslim over there, what its like to enjoy the freedoms over here

and most importantly: what is it like trying to throw a house party when your parents are out of town.

we agreed that politicians and leaders try to make us hate each other

but in reality no matter where we are from we want to party, get down, and make out with girls as ice cube is yelling about something or another.

we traded verses of the koran and the bible with each other and compared how the conservative branches of our religions twisted some of the most peaceful and loving portions of the holy texts into the exact opposites.

i felt as if i had met a long lost brother.

later a chinese student and i talked about pollution, chinese food, and how on earth are the girls in LA so beautiful.

he said hot maybe 20 times.

he had been here three months and was returning to our soon to be overlords.

couldnt have been a nicer guy. he didnt care what music i was listening to. so i kept it on death metal.

he said he heard the weather would be good here but he never expected it to be this good.

he also told me that he really respected bill gates because of all the philanthropy he has been doing.

“you can not take the money with you to heaven”, he said.

later i picked up a frat boy who was trying to figure out how he could boot some people out of his coachella condo to make room for hot girls that he was allowing to stay for free and “not so hot girls” who he was going to be charging $300.

he told me he was having a moral struggle with it because back when he first put money down on the place these original people had laid out their money when his frat brothers werent interested.

now he wants to fill it with these late to the game frat dudes and chicks and i was all, charge all of the latecomers $100 each to sleep in sleeping bags: never cancel on people.

but that seemed to hit a dead space. over there.

he sat next to me for some reason.

did you know theres valet at the baskin robbins in silver lake


nothing in here is true. thats how rumors get started. this is sass rocking the napcore stylz.

she asked to see what i was doing for brunch and i realized that the reason canadians love brunch so much

is because theres an unnecessary u in there.

we sat inbetween a bunch of people on the patio who thought it was cute to bring their little dogs along.

im sorry but i love dogs however the last time i checked this wasnt paris.

i dont see kanye up in this piece, leave yr dogs at home.

all they get to do is walk around under your table, smell, and wish they were back home


sass gave me a sticker and i realized i probably need stickers for a variety of reasons besides the fact that ppl should have stickers

this guy has a great sticker. whoever he is. i want stickers of all my friends. id stick a todd francis over here

a ben sullivan over there. a couple jeanine natalies under there.

it could be a thing. faces of people all everywhere.

that would give the under table dogs something to look at.


had the Devil’s Mess: three scrambled eggs with turkey sausage.

because its silver lake not only was everything organic and local, but it was so sustainable that

you only got to eat them right after they gave birth to their replacements.

the egg yolks came from discarded mcdonald yolks from their egg white mcmuffins.

next time i need to remember to ask for no onions because it was fantastic.

sass invited me to go to kung fu with her but im a pacifist.