1. Sunday, March 23, 2014

    i loved every single one of my passengers today 

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    even the white guy + chinese lady who were so funny and then quickly broke into a little fight

    and the dude started speaking chinese to calm her down.

    he screwed up by saying, and my cantonese is rusty so i could be wrong, but i think he said

    “im going to complain about the generic videos [at the karaoke place we are going to]

    “if they start a fight and start beating you up, i will not fight them, for they are korean

    “and i would never fight a korean.”

    it was very bizarre.

    they were seriously snuggled up next to each other for the first 5 minutes of our trip

    and something clicked ( or unclicked)

    and  boom pow: dram-uh.

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    loved cactus taco tonight where this tall black dude really wanted to cut in line so he told the crowd he’d pay

    for all of their tacos just to speed everything up. and he would get his tacos last.

    people were confused and they yelled at him and he yelled back in such a way i was poised for fisticufs.

    but we left because we are lovers

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    if only mcdonalds had a salad bar id be there every damn night

    eating ice cream.

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    went to a mansion but the tree trimmers were taking up the entire windy driveway

    so at one point i had to drive backwards while curving

    all while looking at the dashboard rearview mirror camera

    i now feel like i can pass any test.

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    i really need to learn more about people who sit in front. even the GQ guy said it was weird.

    first front seater was this amazing black dude who i was picking up at a restaurant where he was at a gathering

    but then had to leave because he was going on quickie date #1

    before going to real date #2.

    he called #1 an interview situation and i was there to take them both on their quickie

    the destination was this bar that ali and many others like but the woman was not at all pleased with the choice

    even before getting there, even though she’d never been there, even though i was playing Prince.

    bro wasnt really dressed up though, and his cologne wasnt helping, and he needed to bring it down a notch.

    he was smart to have a backup date.

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    took me all day to realize what this is.

    i have a college degree?

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    ended up in the middle of a place i didnt really wanna be.

    when i heard the address i showed it to the lovely woman and i said you wanna go there?

    really?

    she was all, yeah and then i plugged it into the car to see if the car was gonna say are you nuts fool?

    but the car is against me. who knows why. everyone compliments it. i take such good care of it.

    cuz  you know what, sometimes nothing makes any sense at all.

    some call it art.

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    took these bros to venice. one of them was mighty drunk and was funny. he was on a roll that lasted the whole ride.

    one of his buddies told me that the imperial palace in vegas is no more, that they put The Quad there now

    the same people that brought us Caesar Palace

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    drove into this gated community and saw all these houses that look exactly like the houses in my old neighborhood in illinois

    it was like being in a dream where some of your memories get merged with the right now

    but because dreams are massive rip offs no one ever hands you a photo so you could investigate it further

    and here i can see palm trees instead of actual trees and the skinniest side walks

    and where are the bushes?

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    best conversation went to this freelancer from british columbia who just got her us green card after ten years

    now she can follow her dreams and not be burdened to one job or do paperwork all the time to stay here

    its nice people wanna stay here, especially when theyre from beautiful canada.

    she asked me a bunch of questions about blogging.

    we talked about the long lost, anorexism

    aka flagrant disregard

    who i know isnt dead because i see some monkey business going on with her site

    so thats good.

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    spoke with a man who drives from here to his vacation home in ensenada mexico

    near Lobster Village

    and he tells me his Prius can do it in less than one tank of gas

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    this beautiful girl was on the phone the whole time, when the ride was over she handed me two dollars stayed on the phone

    and said omg and another thing, uber is so amazing.

    later this super hot white sox fan gave me a hard time and when i dropped off her friend and her

    she said Go Cubs. and i looked at her and she said

    not really.

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    then this other young woman had the injected lips and either pushed up boobs or fake

    sat next to me, for some reason, touched up her makeup all the way to the bar

    and the entire way just became nicer and nicer and it turns out she helps drug addicts

    and alcoholics get it together.

    i wanted to hug her.

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    these took two gay guys  on wilshire asked me if i knew how to get to the kfc on western

    i said the super beautiful one a little north of here?

    they said yeah and i was starving but i kept it together as we got them a 14 piece

    and all these sides via the drive through and then i took them home.

    weirdly enough i took home a group many hours later and we dropped the burmese girl

    at the same apartment.

    #whataretheodds

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    the last trip of the day involved taking these three very funny young folk

    from a very late night taco stand to their home over the hill.

    we talked about veganism and bacon and ratchet music

    got home at 3:30am. fed the cat, said my prayers