1. Sunday, March 16, 2014

    tom petty said the waiting is the hardest part and you got that right bb 

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    made a terrible mistake and accepted an invitation to join a facebook group of uber drivers who talk about the ins and outs of the game

    at first it was nice but quickly i became jealous of their long hauls, big paydays, and stories about the wessside.

    i dont particularly like driving drunk frat boys around hermosa, and apparently neither do they because theres a shortage of drivers there

    thus the rates are usually surging 2x-3x the prices that i work with in the more civilized worlds of hollywood and downtown LA

    still, earlier than i wanted to i was alerted to the fact that it was surging everywhere at 4pm so i got in my car and filled up on gas

    i was gonna get a normal car wash but my Mobil station had a detailer who promised me inside and out shine and new car aroma for $15.

    he lived up to his word so i tipped him $5 and got out there. and it was good.

    the first couple were very nice they were headed to Perch for a nice rooftop late afternoon round of drinks.

    then i got a lovely woman in the fashion industry who wanted to go from one side of DTLA to the biltmore.

    i accidentally turned off the meter as soon as we got going, but she was from chicago so i was all, yay for Chicago!

    then i took a cool dude from DTLA to East LA and within an hour i had already paid off the car wash and wax.

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    then this crazy group of young professionals got in, this adorable black girl sat next to me but was turned all the way to the back seat

    and they were all chatting about their friends, gossiping, judging, talking so fast. one guy was new to LA asked about chicken joints

    i was all, we dont have that long of a drive but youre in the right city. we passed the wood fired place on western

    and i said the next time youre around here go in there for some take out and remember who sent you.

    next was this super beautiful blonde who turns out works at the hotel i was at for three days during the oscars

    we talked about that week and how they got to dress up while we were there so they would blend in.

    she and her guy wanted to go to sushi on melrose and i was all, you gotta try kanpai which is what i usually say to my riders.

    good thing i was on melrose because one minute after i dropped them off a guy 2 blocks away wanted to go to the airport

    he was from massachusetts and that usually means a great conversation but no such luck, silence all the way up la brea

    and over the hill and down manchester and over to LAX. sorta dont like those rides. but whatevs. $28.

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    the only problem with LAX is we are not allowed to pick people up From there, so i make my way up lincoln hoping for an LMU person

    then through Venice hoping for a hollywood person, then thru Santa Monica hoping for tourists

    got a guy who recently moved from NYC to LA who was headed to Animal that snout to tail trendy eatery near Canters

    we had a good talk about how he had started afresh after breaking up with his gf.

    and you know what, theres nothing i like better than getting back to Hollywood after one ride.

    the next ride were these two hollywood insiders. they were talking business about this star and that project

    and how this studio head didnt talk to them enough at the party they were just at. meanwhile this model with the longest legs

    sat in the back and didnt say a word. one of the guys said they should stop talking biz cuz it was rude to her but they kept going

    we got to their destination but it was a residence. they said, oh this is the wrong address maybe i gave you the wrong digits

    i turned to him and said, the customer is never wrong, i must have heard you incorrectly.

    he said nordstrom has built an empire on that philosophy, you’ll go far.

    drove a few more blocks and they were at this crazy fashion thing at the mack sennet studios in silver lake.

    it was the end of fashion week last night so people were apparently getting their last hoorah going.

    later i would swing by to return a beautiful little leather jacket she had left in my ride (no tip offered)

    then met up with haley fox, joaquin fox and ken bassart in glassel park. drove them all home went home and ate a little something.

    its good to take a break, driver 8, on a 12 hour driving shift because its all about those last three hours

    and you dont wanna be drowsy behind the wheel.

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    last night was also Purim Parties galore and the most interesting one was the Young Jewish Professionals bash

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    at the Los Angeles Theatre on 6th and Broadway. i saw lots of interesting outfits and smiling happy people

    i was lucky enough to pick up two beautiful women who wanted to go home in hancock park and they reviewed their evening in great detail

    and i wondered if men ever do such analysis

    it reminded me of post game football on tv.

     

    every play was diagramed, investigated, there was reverse angle cameras, diagrams, history was invoked

    it was fascinating.

    then i saw the saddest sight on melrose. a guy with his dress shirt untucked

    holding a half bouquet of flowers mashing the buttons on his phone.

    turned out he was beeping me!

    i picked him up took him to his hotel and we never said a word to each other.

    sorry bro.

    it made me wish i had some magic wand where i could give the people exctly what they wanted: a hug, a loose woman, an insightful book, a great dvd, or a passage from the bible.

    instead i poured out some water next to the curb and said a quick prayer to the angels.

    got a call by the roosevelt. three beautiful blonde girls. they saw me and as they were crossing the street to me they stopped in front of a hot dog vendor.

    a bacon wrap hotdog vender. they couldnt resist.

    they were buzzed and famished and sometimes you see your uber guy and you think, wow we will never get a car again for another 15 minutes. we must keep him waiting. hopefully they dont think that. because the truth is you will get an uber driver in usually 2-3 minutes in hollywood. just be ready for us. thats all i ask.

    or let me take pics of you for my blog. which they allowed. so even steven.

    afterwards i said, you win for best pants of the night, can i take a pic of your pants? she got out ran out in the middle of the side street and posed

    then told her friends, omg i want one for me too and posed for them.

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    the good times were contagious because soon i was picking up four nice 20somethings at graystone manner.

    one guy was from LA but had moved to Detroit. he sat next to me as his buddy who was paying for the ride sat between two hot babes.

    he was, i think trying to work out a very special evening for himself, and if i was a betting man i would say he got his wish.

    a motorboat happened. singing was happening, and then when i put on a remix of a Lana Del Rey tune REALLY LOUD SINGING happened

    including frequent requests for me to turn it up.

    what other Lana songs do you have tony? the singingest one asked. i said i have everything, for you. especially for you.

    how about Summer Time Sadness I asked, and shrieks were produced.

    backseat romeo didnt know the song and thought i was putting a wet blanket on things, but i wouldnt bro-block. LDR fans love that tune

    and so much singing went down. after she said thanks for that great dj-ing – i will see you at Coachella!

    i said lemme get a pic so i can remember you. and there you have it.

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    feeling great off that ride i went down Sunset Blvd very content and ready to call it a night when these four Chicagoians and this super cute girl who took a bad picture got in.

    remember i made that rule about only 3 passengers from now on?

    well, Chicago.