1. Wednesday, April 16, 2014

    the secret to LA is youve gotta enjoy the view 

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    this is the 101 freeway at vermont. the hollywood freeway. almost always packed. never beautiful.

    until today.

    today was the day that you decided that no matter what

    you were gonna find the beauty in the situation and it’s chocolatey creamy center:

    the love.

    the love of the 101 is it gets you from downtown to the valley and if you want up through santa barbara

    santa cruz, frisco, eureka and up into oregon.

    if i had an adventurous girlfriend id say baby pack yr overalls we’re gonna see what the 101 has to offer.

    and we’d probably just end it in isla vista

    but sometimes it’s the bad idea that counts.

    and im here for all yr bad idea needs.

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    my favorite car wash has the most interesting technique, BEFORE you go into the machine wash deal,

    one, sometimes two dudes soap up yr ride and then spray it off before they send you through the thing

    then as its rinsing they might squirt a little stream at yr backside to make sure everythings gone

    you give em a few extra bucks but it dont matter: the $6 wash, $8 with tip is always top notch

    its at the chevron across the street from the chevron on beverly and la brea

    just two blocks from quentin tarantinos movie theatre.

    tell em merle sent ya

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    the cats love me now for some reason. maybe cuz i was gone a few days and they starved.

    one of them tries to meow but its in a different language, like maybe hes deaf. its almost a chirp.

    the other cats look down on him for it, but omg hes so happy when i get home. he runs ahead of me like a dog

    climbs up my stairs, jets into my house and later remembers hes supposed to be afraid of me for some reason

    (cuz im black) and then darts back almost outside but loiters near the door.

    all of these cats pretend like you cant tell em what to do, that theyre on their own schedule

    but only one of us has the 50 cent an ounce cat food and it aint them.

    and when it is they fight over it, but never finish it.

    they all cray

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    went to the pharmacy the other day to get a refil on my high blood pressure pills.

    xbi doesnt like the pills cuz it messes up their pee tests

    they dont know whats in my body.

    i was all sugar and spice and everything

    they were all no, like did you smoke crack, etc

    i was like

    you can read my mind just esp me and i’ll tell you

    but they didn’t.

    they wanted unadulterated urine and i was all you sick kinky sickos

    so via phone i was able to order a refill of the pills in like one minute

    and schedule a time i would pick it up, and when i did, boom, there was my junk

    total price $4.40

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    but the best part of this week was watching all the nice jewish people celebrate passover

    every holiday should be a holiday. we only live once.

    and how often do we really live during our lifetime?

    getting drunk doesnt count, getting naked doesnt count

    they do count but you can really live without going to the extremes

    driving fast doesnt count,

    to me it means doing stuff interestingly enough

    you totally forget if you have to pee.

    cubs got swept today

    jeanine didnt call me

    danielle did

    played lana del rey for these 15 year olds.

    they talked like they didnt even hear it.