things people told me last night while ubering

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that her bf of a year who knocked her up and then they got an abortion just broke up with her

that even though he’s not gay, he’s from out of town, and could i tell him every thing about gay pride weekend

that (even though she was dressed like a conservative porn star) she would rather be at a quiet bar than the trendy lesbian club her friends are “forcing” her to meet them at.

how was my night? well, im going to stay inside the whole rest of the weekend if that gives you any clue

the plan is to go to the club, take opposite laps, and bring back two each

we’ve both had eight margaritas so far today

how about instead of charging us, we both give you great hugs?

a Prius arrived, we got in the back seat. another couple came. we said, this is our Uber. they said, this is OUR CAR.

we like to watch movies at the Americana because the seats go back.

it’s the perfect apartment, it’s too bad it’s in East Hollywood and not West Hollywood.