a dear friend is arriving into town. she asked me for somewhere fancy to stay

mary pickford

she said she also preferred a location where there would be good celebrity watching.

i gave her some recommendations by the beach and in hollywood. she asked me about downtown.

this is what i said:

DTLA is not fancy. It’s dirty and worn and experiencing a very slow revitalization.

In the day it looks like Tijuana on steroids.

At night it looks like NYC having a hangover.

There is one exception, hotel wise, in DTLA: The Millennium Biltmore, which is also old. So old the first Academy Awards were held there. They even have a tea room. The rooms are small and zero celebs go there unless they’re doing a photo shoot for Vanity Fair (bc the architecture inside and out is Victorian and beautiful.

she said perfect! we just booked a room at the Ace! see you soon!

and that’s why i’ll never write a tour book.

sometimes i think im the greatest stock trader in the universe

michael jackson with a fourtyi’ll do something daring like buy american apparel when theyre as low as sixty nine cents

and i’ll say to myself, they own the factory, they own the stores, theres no middle man, how on earth could this not be a winner.

and then the visionary founder will find himself in hot water with the board that he hand picked and they’ll do something loco like boot him out.

and then he’ll get investors to give him tons of cash to buy more of the company

and then another group of investors will pump money into it

and then all of a sudden the stock is double

and then i’ll sell cuz mama mia any time your investment doubles: sell and buy something else with lots of potential.

and i’ll look back at what i just did and i’ll think im the greatest stock trader in the universe.

and then i’ll consider buying IBM because theyre gonna partner with apple on some apps

and i’ll think im the dumbest stock trader in the universe.

and then i’ll find a photo of michael jackson drinking a bottle of vodka and i’ll say to myself post this on the world famous blahblog so you’ll never forget

that sometimes the most talented people can be so weird

and unless you can moonwalk, youre better off not being so weird.