it’s so dry the ants and the spiders wanna come in


there was a spider

and im all, trust me i understand but dont we leave the garden hoses drippy enough

dont the neighbors do their laundry omg every day?

arent we constantly pouring out a little for the homies who aint here?

and the ants were all, you realize you work for us, dont you?

and the spiders were like you know what we do when you sleep, right?

and the walls said you know we talk when youre outta the house.

so i burned everything down.

all of it.

still, the ants came back the next day

and crawled over the burnt shells of debris

and sipped from the endless puddles left by the fire hoses

and said thanks, now clean this crap up.