the xbi was so unhappy they did the unthinkable: they ESPed me

marie antoinetteYou know you cant have a girlfriend.

shut up, i dont have a girlfriend!

Then why did you send her flowers?

i aint sent nobody no damn flowers!

You’re not trying to spy on her then?

if i wanted to spy on her i’d have bugged some of the books i gave her.

You gave her BOOKS? Ah ha! So she IS your girlfriend!

read my lips, er thoughts, she is a lovely young woman, with a perfect heart, and if i were to have a girlfriend, id be extremely lucky to have someone like her around me every day. but even though i’m no longer in the xbi, i agree that i should not get too close to any one person. so shut up. ugh!

Ah ha! You looked in her heart! To see if she would be compatible!

whoever you are im going to kill you. im going to find you and im going to burn whatevers left of you after i kill you and im going to take the ashes and stuff it in a teddy bear and give it to your momma.

But you kissed her!

and after i give it to your momma imma eat some funyuns and kiss your momma on the lips.

This is why you don’t exist, agent.

correction: former agent, and i dont exist because

Because why?

oh you cant read that part of my mind? perfect. now good day sir.

What part of your mind?


today is andy warhols birthday. he changed the world.


Andy Warhol:I wonder if people are going to remember us?

Edie Sedgwick:What, when we’re dead?

Andy Warhol:Yeah.

Edie Sedgwick:Well I think people will talk about how you changed the world.

Andy Warhol:I wonder what they’ll say about you…in your obituary. I like that word.

Edie Sedgwick:Nothing nice, I don’t think.

Andy Warhol:No no, come on. They’d say, “Edith Minturn Sedgwick, beautiful artist and actress…

Edie Sedgwick:…and all around loon.

Andy Warhol:…Remembered for setting the world on fire…

Edie Sedgwick:…and escaping the clutches of her terrifying family…

Andy Warhol:…Made friends with eeeeeverybody and anybody…

Edie Sedgwick:…creating chaos and uproar wherever she went. Divorced as many times as she married, she leaves only good wishes behind.” [laughs] That’s nice, isn’t it?