1. Wednesday, August 6, 2014

    the xbi was so unhappy they did the unthinkable: they ESPed me 

    marie antoinetteYou know you cant have a girlfriend.

    shut up, i dont have a girlfriend!

    Then why did you send her flowers?

    i aint sent nobody no damn flowers!

    You’re not trying to spy on her then?

    if i wanted to spy on her i’d have bugged some of the books i gave her.

    You gave her BOOKS? Ah ha! So she IS your girlfriend!

    read my lips, er thoughts, she is a lovely young woman, with a perfect heart, and if i were to have a girlfriend, id be extremely lucky to have someone like her around me every day. but even though i’m no longer in the xbi, i agree that i should not get too close to any one person. so shut up. ugh!

    Ah ha! You looked in her heart! To see if she would be compatible!

    whoever you are im going to kill you. im going to find you and im going to burn whatevers left of you after i kill you and im going to take the ashes and stuff it in a teddy bear and give it to your momma.

    But you kissed her!

    and after i give it to your momma imma eat some funyuns and kiss your momma on the lips.

    This is why you don’t exist, agent.

    correction: former agent, and i dont exist because

    Because why?

    oh you cant read that part of my mind? perfect. now good day sir.

    What part of your mind?