xbi was all thanks for what you did but isnt your house all bloody now?

glazed tub and sink

i was like, never you mind. wheres my money.

they were all, seriously if theres a blood trail we’re all screwed. i said dude, ive been doing this forever, dont you know i know?

still they were nervous for some reason. who was this guy? why was this any different.

they said, we’re gonna send someone over to make sure everythings untraceable.

i said, absolutely not. plus nothing happened. he was persuaded, and he was escorted out. end of story.

they said, come on agent, everyone wants to sleep tight tonight.

so i said the worst thing i could ever say.

trust me.

and in the morning i woke up and my 13 year old yellow bathtub and sink were completely reglazed

and virgin white.

but worse, my uber app didn’t work any more.

everyone knows uber customer support for drivers takes forever which means i probably wont be driving this weekend now.

what the hell am i supposed to do on a friday night? take a damn bath?

i like that she sometimes leaves her dresses here

new dress

but it makes me wonder what she wore home.

women are mysteries.

do they not want to appear to be taking the “walk of shame”?

the other day i discovered the Uber of shame.

nice guy walked his super hot girl out to the curb, i picked her up. he hugged her and asked me if i had the address to drop her off.

she crawled into the back seat, high high heels, short short dress

false eyelashes totally abused

she tapped tapped on her iphone the whole ride, every now and then looking out the window.

never talking to me. so skinny.

i wondered if she was a girl he had met at the club the night before.

or something more scandalous.

but then i remembered the hug.

we drove from koreatown to around USC. she was the daintiest asian.

and my esp was totally not in tune. such a mystery. maybe it was better that way.

maybe everythings better that way.