Good riddance, LA Register

la registerI’ve seen some of my journalist friends “sad” to hear that the terrible Los Angeles Register has stopped publishing its newspapers that nobody wanted and nobody asked for. I assume they’re “sad” because as journalists they would like more than just a few solvent newspapers to work for. But the truth is the LA Register was a horrible idea for journalism and a ridiculous business proposition.

Print journalism in 2014 is not a growth opportunity, especially for a new product. It’s like planting a seed in sand. But what’s worse: a RIGHT WING newspaper in LA in 2014 is even more foolish. Of all of the subsets of potential customers one could reach out to, that sliver of LA county is who you want to charge $1.75 a day to read your broadsheet?

How about this: how about find out what portion of LA is truly underserved by the Los Angeles Times and reach out to them. It sure as shit aint Santa Monica, Brentwood, Pacific Palisades, Westwood, DTLA and Pasadena: the same old beaten paths the LA Register attempted to cover.

I’ll give you a hint: the areas that are underserved and are not currently subscribing to the biggest paper west of the Mississip are probably brownskinned, democrats and/or bilingual. If your agenda is to push your political agenda north from Orange County via an OMG newspaper, you’re doomed and deserve your money to be taken away. If, however your agenda is to compete by providing news that the old DTLA paper doesn’t specialize in, your political agenda will probably have to take a back seat as you cover South LA, Inglewood, Highland Park, West Adams, East LA and all the other areas where working-class people live but who often don’t see their stories told in the media.

There are more than enough avenues in print and online to beat the GOP drum both locally and nationally. But strangely there are very few that tell the story of the majority of Los Angelenos, you know, those about women and “minorities”. If Mr. Kushner was truly interested in telling that story, in a bold way, his newspaper would still be in business.

heres what people should probably say about me at my funeral

old style

1. for some reason he loved, as in LOVED, the worlds most mediocre beer, a beer that, now that the Russians own it, they will sip and say: this is why we hate America.

2. he was basically emotional-less no matter what super high highs befell him or terrible tragedies. but if the Chicago Bears were about to play or were playing or just won or lost he will even curse out his dear dear mother. it was best to pretty much stay far away from him on game days.

3. he could only identify 2-3 bears each season.

4. as religious as he was, churches bothered him and felt the most holy place on Earth was the bleachers of Wrigley Field.

5. super underachiever. maybe the best underachiever of all.

6. could never sleep in Illinois.

7. hated dreams. they irritated him. biggest waste of energy and movie-making.

8. loved his high school chums, had a very healthy, interesting experience there, and yet never ever ever went to a reunion and probably never ever will.

9. hyper critical of salespeople and couldnt understand why so few of them ever asked the customer why they wanted what they say they wanted and/or what they loved and hated about the thing they are replacing. QUALIFY THE CUSTOMER PPL!

10. even though he never really liked visiting his hometown, was always impressed at how tall the trees grew there and how beautiful it all ended up looking decades later.