heres what people should probably say about me at my funeral

old style

1. for some reason he loved, as in LOVED, the worlds most mediocre beer, a beer that, now that the Russians own it, they will sip and say: this is why we hate America.

2. he was basically emotional-less no matter what super high highs befell him or terrible tragedies. but if the Chicago Bears were about to play or were playing or just won or lost he will even curse out his dear dear mother. it was best to pretty much stay far away from him on game days.

3. he could only identify 2-3 bears each season.

4. as religious as he was, churches bothered him and felt the most holy place on Earth was the bleachers of Wrigley Field.

5. super underachiever. maybe the best underachiever of all.

6. could never sleep in Illinois.

7. hated dreams. they irritated him. biggest waste of energy and movie-making.

8. loved his high school chums, had a very healthy, interesting experience there, and yet never ever ever went to a reunion and probably never ever will.

9. hyper critical of salespeople and couldnt understand why so few of them ever asked the customer why they wanted what they say they wanted and/or what they loved and hated about the thing they are replacing. QUALIFY THE CUSTOMER PPL!

10. even though he never really liked visiting his hometown, was always impressed at how tall the trees grew there and how beautiful it all ended up looking decades later.