she was all, omg thats a perfect idea.

a few hours later she said well i have everything down perfect except for the wig

i said show me what youve got.

a few hours later she sent me this and i was all, omg you nailed it.

which brings me to reason number 2347895347890 i wish babes would stop having sex with EDM djs: no one is gonna dress up like Flying Lotus in 20 years

or Swedish House Mafia

or Skrillex.

Maybe that dude with the mickey mouse ears but only if he was looking to get beat up.

rock n roll, especially hair metal, has it all: the guitar solos, the crazy outfits, and the hair so killer you cant even get a wig that matches it.

do i play EDM in my Uber?

who asked you!??!?!

last night the cats and i watched Lone Survivor.

as Marky Mark’s comrades kept getting shot i turned to the cats and said

i guess he’s gonna be the Lone Survivor.

then a big boulder rolled down the hill smashing a whole bunch of them and i was all

Lone Survivor

then when things were getting super hairy i was all, Marky Mark can’t die because the film is called Lone

SURVIVOR

when i looked down they were alseep

so unimpressed with me or the film.

the one thing they will love about Halloween will be the candy corn.

they wont eat them, they will kick them around like soccer balls.