bill belicheck gets dissed by the Weather Channel: repeatedly

bill belicheck is a surly mean cheater. but hes a football coach so thats ok.

and his team, before his quarterback married that brazillian supermodel, won a lot.

so his bad behavior was excused.

winning has a weird effect like that.

but yesterday for some reason he wanted to take a shot at meteorologists.

as if dick butkis cared what the damn weather was. or lombardi. or sweetness.

you line up and bash the guy across from you in the fucking mouth.

the weather didnt bother belicheck on that snowy day when the NFL gave his team the win over the Raiders in the playoffs on account of the mysterious Tuck Rule

only old people and whiners drone on about the weather.

but when you do it on tv, and youre a prick which rhymes with Belechick the weatherman will strike back.


sophia loren wont autograph this picture but she’ll talk about it

Loren and Mansfield

Entertainment Weekly has the scoop on one of the most classic photos from classic Hollywood: the time Sophia Loren was introduced to Jayne Mansfield.

EW: This photo was taken when you were still very new to Hollywood.

SOPHIA LOREN: Yes, Paramount had organized a party for me. All of cinema was there, it was incredible. And then comes in Jayne Mansfield, the last one to come. For me, that was when it got amazing.

EW: What did she do when she got there?

SL: She came right for my table. She knew everyone was watching. She sat down. And now, she was barely… Listen. Look at the picture. Where are my eyes? I’m staring at her nipples because I am afraid they are about to come onto my plate. In my face you can see the fear. I’m so frightened that everything in her dress is going to blow—BOOM!—and spill all over the table.

Find out why Loren won’t sign this picture over at EW.

only in my mind am i old

my house

my body feels amazing, my spirits are high, but when people ask me how long ive been in LA

and i tell them 30 years they say wait a second

just HOW OLD are you?

had a lady, 88 years old, get into my car. she was going to the Disney Hall.

do you know where that is? she asked.

i said, probably the prettiest building in all of LA.

she said, maybe the world.

i said, well, something tells me that mr. naploean and marie antoinette would argue differently.

she said, well let them eat cake.

and we were off.

she had an old tymie name like Lulabelle or Henrietta or Petunia. a wealthy aunt left her a fortune when she was 50 and was able to send her daughter to Juliard, where she went.

are you sure you know how to get there, dear, she asked as i zig zagged through Westwood on my way to the 10.

it’s the pink building by the beach, i joked. but you shouldnt joke with an old lady.

she asked me about 5 more times as we were going there if i knew the way.

finally i pointed to my phone and i said, even if i didnt know, ma’am, this thing does and shocks me if i go off the path.

she mumbled that technology has ruined everything and complicated our lives and i said you mean you yearn for the days when the tv had three stations and thats it? me too!

but i was lying. i love you technology with my very last proton.

she was so old she couldnt do math any more.

and as we got to downtown she apologized ahead of time before complimenting the president.

she said, im sorry if this offends you, but i think Obama is doing a splendid job.

i said, what sort of world are we living in where a woman can’t feel confident saying something nice about our president?

she said, well what if you were a Republican?

i said even if i was a dirty Commie, the gas prices are low, unemployment is low, the stock market is at a record high, interest rates are low, and a big chunk of the nation now has health insurance. who could have a problem with any of that?

she squeezed my arm with her bony fingers and said yeah you’re right.

what was she calling me, buster? dearie?


she i dropped her off at the valet, he didnt smile. he asked if i was going to pick her up. as if maybe she had done him wrong some how. or he didnt like her.

wasnt the whole hall senior citizens? why give her the stink eye?

i liked her and i was driving around westwood later that night and i hoped she had gotten home ok because she was lovely.

married a man, when she was 20, that the family didnt approve of because he was not rich, but she did it anyway, she admitted to me, because he was so handsome.

it lasted 30 years she said. which is fine unless you end up back on the market at 50 as a recent divorcee.

but then all the money came her way, so maybe that helped soften the blow.