is the Internet screwed? no. just the American Internet

obama with FCC chairman Wheeler

all over the world, the web is fine, because in most parts of the world big business isn’t treated like Royalty.

here in the home of the brave, there’s a political party that pretends that if giant conglomerates aren’t allowed to

do whatever they damn well please

then all the jobs will disappear.

we quickly forget that all of these businesses began as start-ups that filled a hole in the market.

Apple didn’t need any special treatment when it was competing against IBM, Microsoft, Xerox and countless other giants.

Apple, omg, invented shit, stuck to their principles of innovation, and for decades struggled before they broke out.

Now they’re bigger than big, mightier than anyone, and the hottest store in every mall lucky enough to have them.

Time Warner, Comcast, AT&T and all these other Internet providers and cable companies lie right to our faces

and tell us that if they are not allowed to slow down web speeds to smaller companies like Netflix and programs like BitTorrent

then their businesses will falter and omg jobs jobs jobs and profits will magically evaporate.

now there are a lot of things i like about our president. he turned around the economy

millions of people now have healthcare. the stock market is breaking records every day.

and he seems to give a shit about the environment.

but when he fucks up he does so in such a huge way it’s like he made some weird deal with the GOP

“i’ll throw you a bone, no matter what it is, a few times a year.”

even though all they do is try to cockblock him Every. Chance. They. Can.

for some hairbrained reason Obama named the BFF of the cable industry as the head of the FCC.

Some douche named Wheeler.

Wheeler is not going to have some amazing revelation in the near future.

He’s not going to tell all of his country club brethren that they’re going to have to stop throttling the web.

He’s going to lie and say he wants to listen to both sides.

And then he’s going to do exactly what we know he’s going to do.

Why? Because he is a Scorpion and we are Frogs.

He can’t help it.

He and all of his friends are addicted to money.

And the people who keep voting for this nonsense are addicted to fear and ignorance.

But I’m not angry. And do you know why?

Because you cannot stop American ingenuity, particularly when porn is involved.

The web will be fast one day because teenage boys, the keys to digital technology, won’t stand for slow connections

to see boobs.

bless their hearts.

The New York Times reviews “Male and Female” nearly 100 years ago

male and female

Of course, if any one is profoundly impressed by the solemn assurance that the best looking, most competent man and the prettiest girl of a party shipwrecked on an island will, in two years, gravitate toward each other, regardless of the fact that in England one was a butler and the other a “lady,” for that one “Male and Female” is apocalyptic. But the same person should ponder deeply over the revelation that two and two make four.

– NY Times, November 24, 1919

first things first im the fakest

madonna like a virginthirty years ago today madonnas like a virgin came out.

somehow i had a giant poster of it on my bedroom wall.

somehow i was invited to live in the house the wall belonged to.

i was going to junior college at the time and working at a record store for $4 an hour.

and somehow i was asked to move out of the home so that the teenage swedish nanny could take possession of the room

and i could fuck off and find my first apartment – even though i was only making $4 an hour and going to college

had i done anything wrong to incur such a drastic change? no. was i doing drugs or drinking or raising hell or having drunken friends over to all hours of the night? of course not. i was new to california, and LA, and i barely knew anybody.

i actually was a virgin.

it was not really the sort of thing one expects from the person one is named after and his new wife to do to a teenager, but as they say shit happens

and it all happened as madonna looked down at me from the wall

thirty years ago.

the good book says we are supposed to forgive. i forgave.

the lord says we’re supposed to turn the other cheek. which i did. and there could be worse things than being forced to move to a cockroach and flea infested apartment a few blocks from the ocean in venice beach in the mid 80s.

but then more crappy things happened and the forgivenesses ran out.

and i started to learn that some people are just selfish and they cause more stress to my heart than i want.

life is short.

we will make it through the wilderness.

somehow we will make it through.

but theres no reason to keep going back just because we’re too cowardly to see if we can go it alone.

first things first, we are never alone.

not with Jesus

and madonna

and momma.