1. Wednesday, November 12, 2014

    first things first im the fakest 

    madonna like a virginthirty years ago today madonnas like a virgin came out.

    somehow i had a giant poster of it on my bedroom wall.

    somehow i was invited to live in the house the wall belonged to.

    i was going to junior college at the time and working at a record store for $4 an hour.

    and somehow i was asked to move out of the home so that the teenage swedish nanny could take possession of the room

    and i could fuck off and find my first apartment – even though i was only making $4 an hour and going to college

    had i done anything wrong to incur such a drastic change? no. was i doing drugs or drinking or raising hell or having drunken friends over to all hours of the night? of course not. i was new to california, and LA, and i barely knew anybody.

    i actually was a virgin.

    it was not really the sort of thing one expects from the person one is named after and his new wife to do to a teenager, but as they say shit happens

    and it all happened as madonna looked down at me from the wall

    thirty years ago.

    the good book says we are supposed to forgive. i forgave.

    the lord says we’re supposed to turn the other cheek. which i did. and there could be worse things than being forced to move to a cockroach and flea infested apartment a few blocks from the ocean in venice beach in the mid 80s.

    but then more crappy things happened and the forgivenesses ran out.

    and i started to learn that some people are just selfish and they cause more stress to my heart than i want.

    life is short.

    we will make it through the wilderness.

    somehow we will make it through.

    but theres no reason to keep going back just because we’re too cowardly to see if we can go it alone.

    first things first, we are never alone.

    not with Jesus

    and madonna

    and momma.