1. Saturday, November 22, 2014

    they thought they could bury us, they didnt know we are seeds 

    BEYONCE TWERKINGeons ago i sold tvs and stereos on commission. i loved getting paid commission only because the smarter i got, the more money i made.

    im still not sure if uber, which is also commission only, is pure luck or a tiny bit smarts, but last night i was busy doing relatively long trips all night.

    sad thing: i barely made my quota despite working a full shift. and getting tipped: twice.

    first tip was from a canadian man here on business going from staples center to Boa near beverly hills. he said he was from winnepeg. i said, now thats in manitoba, right? he was shocked at my knowledge. it was his first uber ride. we talked hockey and hoops and listened to latin jazz. the ride took nearly a half hour, i drove on side streets and at the end he said “may i ask how much it cost?” i said give the phone one sec, ah yes here it is and it flashed $18. he smiled, amazed, and dug into his pocket for two crisp dollar bills. hmmmm. whatevs.

    then i took a lady from beverly hills to the airport. she was taking a red eye to visit her husband who was on a movie shoot. she told me a tale of Nicki Minaj being quite a diva and i was all omg i never knew it was that bad. BUT IT WAS BAD.

    the best trip i took was i was at the airport again after a different person was going to the bahamas. i stopped off at the mcdonalds to relieve myself and get a $1 coke. as i was pulling out i got a beep. he dropped the pin in the wrong place (a scary hidden hood near the airport) so i called him and he said he was at Thrifty car rentals. turned out it was a rich old jewish doctor. he and his wife had just returned from hawaii and figured out the sneaky way to get an uber: take the free shuttle out of LAX to the rental car place and call and uber from there (we are blocked from LAX proper).

    we drove down the 405 listening to the 50s station and he sang along with every tune. at Getty Center we were at a stand still at midnight and we all cursed the 405. the wife asked me to just take sepulveda. i did for a mile and got back on and it was smooth sailing to the valley. they lived super close to where Ali’s dad lives. great house, sweetest people.

    they tipped me $10. now thats how you do it!

    off to drive bruins and trojans to the rose bowl.