busblog

january

ernie banks died

jon stewart was still on tv

uber is worth $40 million

some dude tried to bash down my front door

february

saw breakfast at tiffany’s for the first time

took my mom and the truest to the Oscars

chilled with Seana and her family at the Rainbow

the demons were exorcized from Jeanine

march

omg i was social

hating ourselves is what the devil wants

bukowski never whined

Isabella Rosellini’s mom writes Cary Grant

they sent theo epstein from boston to chicago

GOP leaders called traitors on cover of Daily News

april

baltimore

white out on sunset

caitlin jenner

the cure for writers block

katie bain in the presence of jack white

i made some folding money in that desert

may

went to the new kanpai (which wasnt great then, but its way better now)

the stones played the fonda

loved the new mad max times a hundred

loved lana del rey at the bowl times two hundred

i let patrick pitt explain the mayweather fight and boy did he

june

my secret phone rang and i picked it up

after seeing “Gentlemen’s Agreement” for the first time

why mtv is bound to come back in a big way

made an incredible trade in fantasy

theres no i in exctement

july

omg deflategate

pablo picasso was never called an asshole

how i got your tickets

had lunch with the hollywood hippie

found out why westwood is screwed

omg the kkk

august

saw the cubs at dodger stadium with todd y lily

omg erik erickson

born to run turns 40

hot babe asks me to take her to the taco stand

burned a bridge with the nyt, nbd (let it burn)

ask tony

september

bree was all wanna? i was like sure.

one less boehner in the house

one of my passengers wrote about me

this is how they get you

hashtag love

amy winehouse woulda been 32 today

october

former cub refused taxi service at LAX in 2015

im a cat lady

was this close to courtney love on my bday thanks to jeanine

was this close to weezer thanks to ali

uber strike

november

how to fix our gun problem simply and (mostly) constitutionally

im not the best uncle

how to get rich with uber/lyft in vegas

my 3 year old niece is a pilot now, nbd

omg Compton

the LAT loses a huge part of their paper

december

omg Miss Colombia

new Star Wars: meh

25 years ago i partied with these hippies

omg disney

LA shut down all their schools

i have a great idea for LAist, i blog it, they say yes in the comments. it starts next month

i first saw them in high school at Chicago’s Aragon Ballroom well before that lucky ticketholder was even born.

it was the first concert that i ever went to where i saw someone puke from being too drunk

last night was a different affair. i saw people of all ages. dads brought their kids and the kids were fascinated.

theres something about blasts of fire so big and hot that you can feel it all through the arena.

the music was Motely Crue’s greatest hits with a couple of covers (Smoking in the Boys Room, Anarchy in the UK)

it was hoped that there might be a Motorhead cover since they are both Sunset Strip icons

but this is a show thats been around the world, their farewell show, it was polished, on point, and locked.

not really any room for improv.

Tommy has to drum on a rollercoaster and spin around a few times

no time to play Ace of Spades.

i kid, but really two things: a motorhead mention, at least, was appropo

and Tommy’s drum solo, was incredible

one of the great things about Crue was they were real rock stars.

Tommy had a sex tape, Vince had a sex tape, there was drugs, arrests,

which means only one thing:

fucking better be a killer drum solo at the rock show

like the new Star Wars, the second to last Crue show was safe, familiar, and not loud enough.

the lights were pretty, we were thankful for the dancing girls,

Mick Mars, who has looked 64, shredded on guitar, and did this Eruption thing that was purely satanic

and their grand finale was a spectacle of fire and more fire and things burning that made us think

should that really be on fire too?

and then fireworks

of all the bands that i rocked out to in high school,

never did i think that it would be Motley Crue who would sell out

two nights at Staples, 34 years into their career, to say adios.

but they represented the spirit of the hair metal era righteously

and are ending it on fire.

they’re not going away sad

they’re just going away

 

Stevie Wonder plus special guests Jay-Z, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Tony Bennet, Ed Shereen, Jennifer Hudson, India Arie, Craig Robinson, Mary Wells, Jill Scott, Gary Clark Jr., Gladys Knight, Pharrell, Babyface, Maya Rudolph, Janelle Monae, A Band Called Perry, Tyler Perry, Jamie Foxx and Andrea Bocelli at the Nokia Theatre on 2/10

Louie CK at the Forum on 1/12

The Replacements at the Palladium on 4/15

Coachella starring AC/DC, Motorhead and Jack White from 4/19-4/21

Courtney Love and Lana Del Rey at the Hollywood Bowl on 5/17

Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg, MC Ren, DJ Yella at Staples Center on 6/28

The Psychedelic Furs with The B52s and orchestra at the Hollywood Bowl on 9/12

AC/DC at the Friendly Confines with my buddies Bob and Rick at Wrigley Field on 9/15

Kanye West doing the entirety of 808 and Heartbreaks at The Hollywood Bowl on 9/26

Van Halen (Eddie, Alex, and Wolfgang Van Halen + DLR) at the Hollywood Bowl on 10/2

Cat Power, Fiona Apple, Regina Spektor, Beck and Jakob Dylan at the Orpheum on 10/12

Weezer doing a few songs for the Guitar Hero Live launch at the YouTube space on 10/19

Motley Crue second-to-last show ever at Staples Center last night 12/30

not bad, some of my faves that i will probs never see again (AC/DC, the Mats, Coachella, The Crue)

next year i have my eye on: The Cure, Lana Del Rey, Rihanna, David Gilmour and hopefully Randy Newman

i feel like i should be doing something of importance as the earth completes its journey around the sun this year.

yesterday i took my first drive as a Lyft driver. it wasn’t bad. mama mia is there little money to be made though. a 15 minute drive will only net you $4 or $5. They say a good chunk of them tip you but you dont see your tips right away, and i still have yet to have seen mine.

they have this nice bonus situation going where if you work 30 hours you get half of Lyft’s commission back. and if you work 50 hours you get all of it back. sorta love that. especially on weeks like this where i dont have to work my real job.

the passengers were pretty nice. one kid sat up front. everyone else was in the back. i like that better.

the roads were nearly empty which was a dream. LA is wonderful but 100x wonderful when you can traverse across its vast expanses. when you can just drive down Melrose and not hit a light or deal with 25 other cars dawdling along is the best Christmas gift of all.

and you of course.

it’s been cold at night here in LA. 40s. definitely two blankets. my house is drafty. but the space heater does its job.

last night i picked up this kid sort near my house. i dont know anyones ages any more. he was headed to Glendale, where he said he grew up. is going to college at SC. he was telling me about one of his roommates who comes home drunk or high “or whatever” and plays his bad music really loud. i asked him, dont you tell him to put on his headphones? he said, he’s too high to hear me.

i said, i dont think he’s high, i think hes probably a dick.

kid says, well i dont know anything about that, ive never done any drugs.

i said, nothing?

he said, nothing.

i said, and i know this is weird, but you really should try weed at least when you’re in college.

he said, i should?

i said, heres why, say you dont. say you just study, you get a good job somewhere like a bank. and the bank does great that year and sends the whole staff to mexico for a long weekend. and everyone gets drunk and this hot little mexican girl offers you a joint. let me tell you this, my good friend, you dont want your first experience of any drug or booze to be in front of your coworkers in a situation where you have something to lose.

you dont want to start acting like your crazy roommate in front of your boss.

get all that business handled at the frat house or in your dorm room with your barely legal friends in the safety of south central.

i better get a huge tip from that dude.

i’m doing this new thing to motivate myself away from the computer during this Christmas vacation.

when i wake up i take the charger off the macbook and when the battery runs out it’s time to go outside and see what LA has to offer.

right now it’s at 10% but it’s draining fast because i have a video of Los Lobos playing with Jerry Garcia in the background. a little tune you may have heard “La Bamba”  in 86.

there was a time when i would wake up early and uber all day and all night. those days are over. i pick and choose.

my hands and arms were in such pain this year that i had to buy all these lotions and salves. none of it worked. i sacrificed a goat (its always the goats). didnt work. then i tried driving less. that didnt work.

i tried heavy breathing, extra tacos, sex with women(!), positive thinking. nothing.

and then i threw money at the problem: i bought a variety of compression gloves and arm sleeves and holy cow it worked and my hands and arms are better than ever.

but i never want to abuse them again because theyre my money maker. theyre whats letting me tell you right now that i love you. theyre whats letting me tell you that we’re already at 6 per cent with a bullet. theyre what lets me wipe the poop from my crack after i take a dump. imagine you couldnt do that. imagine you needed to make a robot to do that for you.

but how you gonna build a poop cleaning robot when you aint got no hands or arms that work because you drove all night like springsteen

through the wind, through the rain,

the snow, the wind,

the rain

hearrrrrrt and soul

no robot poop machines gonna do nothing for you the way i can.

even with one hand writhing in pain,

like what most of 15 was for me.

but thats all in the rear view now.

3 per cent

holy cow.

when i was in college, i totally wanted lots of girlfriends

when i got out of college, i totally wanted a company car.

when i got a company car, i wanted a new company car.

when i got a new company car, i wanted my own business.

when i got my own business, i wanted an employee to do the things i didnt wanna do.

when i got an employee, i got bored and moved away.

when i moved away i started getting more money than ever before.

when i got more money than ever before, i bought the most ridiculous things, sometimes i wouldnt even open the boxes that they came in for weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks.

now i dont know what i want any more.

im not sure i even want a bikini girl to pour me a beer in a boot and serve it to me while i waterski barefooted.

actually i am sure.

i just want a cold beer, served out of a plastic cup, in the bleachers of wrigley field.

bikini girl optional.

the reason we’re so sad tonight is because theres no substitute for Lemmy

he was his own man.

he was himself.

he was not a copy of a copy of a copy of something that was once popular.

you didnt hear Motorhead songs on the radio. didnt see any videos. Lemmy was never on the cover of the rolling stone. AND GOOD. Lemmy wasn’t theres. Motorhead was ours.

you could try to wear that shirt but it was better than a Harley shirt. it was so evil looking. so cool. better than a Maiden shirt. on par with a Priest shirt. and a thousand times better than Kiss shirt. and as great as you might think it looked on you, it was so much better on a lady bartender on the other side of the Grapevine.

i knew he was sick. i didnt even bother to get tickets to the show he ended up cancelling. i didnt wanna see him in any other way than on top.

he was on top a few years ago when i saw him at Coachella. Slash came out to play a tune with him and even though the festival was all about groovy little sensitive this one or that one or “trippy” little robot acts, it was so refreshing to see a man dressed in black with a civil war cap on and and a native american bolo tie come out spread his legs and growl into a mic thats pointing down as if St. Peter himself is holding it from above

whispering sing it fucker

sing it.

when i heard the news today i was in beverly hills waiting in vain for the Sirius metal channel Ozzy’s Boneyard to stop the tape and break into some nice long blocks of Motorhead, Hawkwind and some of his associates like Dio and Sabbath.

and then i realized i wasn’t all that far from the Sunset Strip, so i parked in front of the Rainbow, Lemmy’s home away from home.

to be honest, it was a little annoying in there because hardly anyone seemed to know the news and half of those on the outside patio were watching Monday Night Football.

fucking Journey was on the jukebox.

i was thinking about ordering a Jack & Coke, Lemmy’s drink, but that’s his drink, not mine. i asked the lady for an IPA and got one.

then Rush came on the jukebox. then Black Label Society. at least we were getting there. then Motorhead finally. then Guns n Roses. at that point i just got up and put $5 in the machine and dialed up 7-8 tunes befitting of THE MOMENT.

one of the football watchers approached the bar and asked the bartender lady if it was true about Lemmy. she said they could not confirm or deny it.

i said, Ozzy tweeted it out about 20 minutes ago.

and we all agreed there could be no one better

or cooler

to confirm your death than Ozzy.

which is probably the best tribute to Lemmy of the night.

other than this one.

a waitress waiting for her drinks told the bartender lady, you should see my texts, everyones asking if it’s true about Lemmy.

but if they were really my friends, she sneered, they’d know already.

I was born to lose and gambling’s for fools
but that’s the way i like it baby
I DON’T WANNA LIVE FOREVER
– Lemmy

sorry a SWAGway

 

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