after the winds come and go

tupac and snoop doggand the rain and the three cold days

the stars come back, a miracle because of

all the light pollution

and they just wanna hang there.

they think we’re better

than we think we are.

imagine that.

prettiest things in the universe.

my doctor says the xbi doctor is right

that im gonna live as long as those stars

so i probably should stop it with the mcdonalds breakfasts.

how about no drive thrus until after 8pm

she asked snapping the rubber glove.

im always down for a challenge.

this is the creamiest avocado ive ever had.

how is that possible.

how is anything possible.

we are robots with self charging solar batteries and the most miraculous cpus.

you know why i believe in god?

because he showed off

with our eyes.

not just practical

but

and .

the big bang doesnt accidentally produce eyes like yrs

ballghazigate

tumblr_nik5avsmg31s201nro1_400so twice now in the last few years the new england patriots have been caught cheating

this time they were caught during the AFC Championship game

now a real commissioner would rule that the Patriots, who are on probation, have forfeited their right to play in the Super Bowl

or a soft commissioner would rule that the Patriots should have two people banned from the Super Bowl

namely the coach, who is a huge liar, and obvs knows when 11 of 12 balls are being fucked with

and the QB who is also a huge liar and obvs knows when the centerpiece of his professional life

the football in his hands

is 16% lighter and squeezier than normal balls.

but we dont live in that world. we live in a world where the NFL commissioner wants to keep his $44 million salary

and he doesnt want to scare his bosses, the NFL owners, into thinking that he would ever do anything that dramatic to them

if he ever caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

so he will do the least courageous thing possible: he will fine the team a few hundred grand

and make them lose another draft pick.

just like last time

just like any time.

why? because his balls are deflated too.