1. Thursday, January 22, 2015

    ballghazigate 

    tumblr_nik5avsmg31s201nro1_400so twice now in the last few years the new england patriots have been caught cheating

    this time they were caught during the AFC Championship game

    now a real commissioner would rule that the Patriots, who are on probation, have forfeited their right to play in the Super Bowl

    or a soft commissioner would rule that the Patriots should have two people banned from the Super Bowl

    namely the coach, who is a huge liar, and obvs knows when 11 of 12 balls are being fucked with

    and the QB who is also a huge liar and obvs knows when the centerpiece of his professional life

    the football in his hands

    is 16% lighter and squeezier than normal balls.

    but we dont live in that world. we live in a world where the NFL commissioner wants to keep his $44 million salary

    and he doesnt want to scare his bosses, the NFL owners, into thinking that he would ever do anything that dramatic to them

    if he ever caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

    so he will do the least courageous thing possible: he will fine the team a few hundred grand

    and make them lose another draft pick.

    just like last time

    just like any time.

    why? because his balls are deflated too.