so twice now in the last few years the new england patriots have been caught cheating

this time they were caught during the AFC Championship game

now a real commissioner would rule that the Patriots, who are on probation, have forfeited their right to play in the Super Bowl

or a soft commissioner would rule that the Patriots should have two people banned from the Super Bowl

namely the coach, who is a huge liar, and obvs knows when 11 of 12 balls are being fucked with

and the QB who is also a huge liar and obvs knows when the centerpiece of his professional life

the football in his hands

is 16% lighter and squeezier than normal balls.

but we dont live in that world. we live in a world where the NFL commissioner wants to keep his $44 million salary

and he doesnt want to scare his bosses, the NFL owners, into thinking that he would ever do anything that dramatic to them

if he ever caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

so he will do the least courageous thing possible: he will fine the team a few hundred grand

and make them lose another draft pick.

just like last time

just like any time.

why? because his balls are deflated too.