figured out what im gonna do when i win the lottery

my pool

1. buy this house with that hot tub actually in the damn ocean

2. buy Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch (a steal at $50 million) which sits on 1,200 acres just north of Santa Barbara

3. make the coolest orphanage of all time at the Ranch and teach the kids all the great life skills that their peers dont learn in school:

how to fix a car

how to handle a knife

how to pick up a girl

how to play guitar

how to dunk

how to fly a helicopter

how to cook

how to dance

how to fix a leaky sink and a fucked up toilet

4. i will produce a tv show much like The Bachelor called “Marry a Middle Aged Bald Lottery Winner”

5. and then i will start renovating small motels and slowly build an empire when no one is looking.

The Powerball is currently at $485 million and climbing