xbi was all, we need you in Chicago

cubs season tix

i was all, are you getting high off your own supply?

they were like, what would it take to get you to move there?

i said, season tickets to the cubs, pay off my mom’s mortgage

and make sure the average temperature is 69 degrees, you know, like how it is here in LA

THE PLACE IVE LIVED FOR ALMOST EXACTLY 30 YEARS.

they said we can do the first two and thanks to the GOP, the third request is coming along.

i said, great, when it has arrived, if there’s still ozone, lemme know.

today i receieved the above. and i must say, it was tempting.

i shouldnta opened the box.