congratulations mom!

me and momeven though she’s technically retired, my mom volunteers at her favorite department store: Nordstrom

she takes the train into the city a few times a week and shines that sparkling smile and im all ma, youre retired, why you gotta work?

she says it keeps her young and vibrant, and she likes the deep discounts she gets.

so does my sweater drawer closet.

anyway, like any normal person at any normal retail outlet, she meets her fair share of negative situations and complains about them

to which i usually say quit quit quit!

today she rang me and asked if i was busy.

that usually frightens me because i expect the worst: the dog died, the boy has stopped hitting left handed, the cubs are putting up a giant video scoreboard

when she finally got to her purpose of calling she said

tony, i am the employee of the year.

i was all OF COURSE!!

she laughed.

i laughed.

obama and the NSA laughed.

im so proud of her. shes the best. always has been and they know how lucky they are that she works there.

and i know how lucky i am that shes my mom.

congrats ma!

they’re opening up another Kanpai

smokerthis one is gonna be about 2 miles away from the other one.

which is good because if they opened up one near my house id need a third job.

pretty girls call me to see whats up but i dont call em back.

somewhere my mojo disappeared and i am uncertain as to how i get it back. the fellas at the xbi say drinking but come on.

drinking is played out. plus i like waking up without the world pounding in my ears.

drove a gorgeous girl up from beverly hills to baldwin hills last night. at first she didnt wanna talk so i respected that

but then i got tired of not talking so i asked her where she was from and she said DC and i said i was born there and she started talking and talking and talking.

then she said shes deciding between colleges: san diego state or uc santa barbara.

i asked her, have you ever kissed a guy who had just smoked a whole cigarette?

she laughed and said omg my ex bf in dc.

i said san diego is like kissing a whole football team of guys who just smoked a carton of cigarettes.

she said whats santa barbara like?

i said it’s your first kiss that you’ll never forget.

and when we finally got to her house i said, see you on DP on halloween!

and she said, you just may,