in the middle of the tornado of drinking rocking eating not sleeping came a still soft voice in the wilderness
it said tony you may not realize this but there are lots of people who love you
(i did not know this)
and you should take care of yourself because we want you around for the duration.
in one hand was a deep fried jack in the box taco
in the other was a super big gulp of coke.
and below that was my bulging belly.
it was eerie how the voice knew that i had given up on my health.
somehow it knew i hadn’t been hiking any more, hadnt been dating since the blonde.
and sorta chucked everything except for my job and a half.
but desert voices know all, which is why they’re so valuable.
and why we miss out when we dont go out there to retune our heartstrings.
so yesterday i went to whole foods and made a salad.
and only drank a quarter can of pop.
drove less and slept more.
you know, all the things you promise yrself on new years.
i dont know what i was rebelling against other than the xbi.
i didnt want myself to be recruitable.
also i wanted the ladies to love me for my heart, not my abs.
even though my heart was being corroded by corn syrup and mediocrity.
its funny how we can be our own worst enemy.
not funny ha ha but funny oh crap i cant even fit into my pj pants.
this week ive been unsubscribing from junk mails
which isnt exactly the same as hiking, but its baby steps.
but sunday i’ll see you at runyon, terrible big hill.