remember that time we got invited to the white house

obamaand we got all dressed up and you said omg lets bring the kids

and i was all what kids?

and you said OUR kids and i was like Them? they’re too little. they wont behave and they wont remember anything.

and you said how many times are we gonna have this chance again. god sometimes i wonder about you

and i said fine.

so we dressed them up and you said that wasnt good enough so you ran to the store

AND BOUGHT NEW CLOTHES for them

and came home and gave them Another bath

and got them dressed and we went there

and the president was super cool about everything

and then when it was time to go, little sally was like

no mommy im not leaving. no i like it here. NOOOOOOO!!!

and the president was all, yeah i have that effect on some people

and michelle was like seriously?

and Bo the dog just casually strolled out of the room and down the hall

and laid down next to the kitchen.

and the secret service guy was all, i know yr xbi but we’re gonna have to get her out of here

and i was all, if you tase her, no one will blame you

and michelle laughed

and obama laughed

but i wasnt kidding.