is there something wrong?

pink lakei dont think so.

if anything i feel like something really good is about to happen.

theres a fine line between nervousness and excitement, i dont mind feeling either but i think sometimes my outward appearance doesn’t look like i care.

oh, i care.

i care maybe a million times more than you think.

i care so much i might be freaking out a little inside but i know that as long as i can get in the batters box it’ll be ok. it always has been. i can hit. i can connect. let the fans clank whatever they got.

when i was little my mom let me sign up for pop warner football. i was like 11 or 12. kids! one of the things they told us to do was wash out an old pop can and put some dry beans in there and tape up the hole with duct tape. then they gave us a sheet with all the kids names and jersey numbers and we taped that to the can and painted it blue and white (our colors, we were the colts). then our moms could shake the cans in the stands to cause some excitement.

if anything it taught us how to block out all the noise and just listen to the voice in your helmet.

you can do this.

you got this.

stick your shoulder in him.

that doesnt hurt.

youre not cold.

he aint that big.

boom.

i wonder if i will be excited this year

marki wonder if there will be something that makes me go

o m g

acdc at coachella was fine, but when i was 14 it blew my mind

do i even have a mind to blow any mo?

is my problem that i do all the safe things? i have no more edge?

theres no more danger in my days?

am i dating the wrong girls? are they too predictable, too polite, not enough edge?

should i date sisters, should i date twins?

is it even legal to do that?

only twins id date are lemei and lily up in canada but im pretty sure they dont wanna share a boyfriend.

half a boyfriend is all you really want anyways, ladies, thats what ive learned.

would two girlfriends even be that exciting or would it be work?

what would be exciting?

chasing your actual dreams.

moving.

writing something that scares the hell out of you.

making a magazine with xTx.

joining the navy.

letting the cats go outside.

getting a personality test next door.

learning to surf.

cooking dinner for the poor.

tossing half of everything thats in my closets.