they say kids today have everything, i say they have nothing

vhsfirst boob i touched was pretty much the first boob i ever saw.

sure i saw madonna’s in playboy, and maybe a few other in that mag, but that was basically it.

then all of a sudden in the back seat of my grandmas car, my gorgeous 16 year old girlfriend lifted her sweater

and my life changed.

kids today have pron on their damn phones for pete sake. and what they show on tv, regular tv, would have launched a thousand ships way back in my day.

ariana, taylor, nicki, charlie xcx – they make xtina and britney blush.

kids dont go to the record stores any more. they dont get in fights at the blockbuster.

it’s all delivered to them through their video game machines. like they earned it!

the reason theyve turned their backs on network tv is they dont realize what a lifeblood that was to humans over the last 65 years.

how important channels 2, 5, and 7 were.

now its all about the youtube. instant access. immediate satisfaction. spontaneous disruption.

but the biggest problem is theyre not bored any more. how could they be? they have everything (and nothing).

back when i was at my grandmas house and i was bored i had to shoot pool in her garage or learn to putt or turn the entire downstairs into a pitch n putt golf course.

kids today just stick their phones down their pants and snapchat a picture to a cheerleader and it’s game on.

and those are the girls!

when youre bored you learn how to play the piano, or the guitar, or edit video, or write a poem.

when youre not bored you just do whatever the screen tells you.

this is why there are no teenage guitar gods any more.

this is why children by the millions dance to shallow robot sounds.

this is why cuba is opening their doors.

because they know no one will notice or care.

cuba is saying heres our boobies, have at it.

but theyre not doing it on youtube so they may as well be shouting it to the wind.

maybe zulieka has it all figured out

zuliekamaybe the goal isnt to blog every day. maybe you should take all of may off and now most of june.

maybe bloggers should just be mommies and daddies and call it a day.

i know being a parent and a partner is hard and time consuming and it eats up your whole life – if youre doing it right. but you really dont have 20 minutes to write?

how did tolstoy do it? mark twain loved his daughter, still he wrote.

heather the rabbit reels off interesting tales.

why not zulieka? the blogospheres sleeping beauty.

last night i had ramen at silver lake ramen with sass. i took an uber over. uber pool. $4. i tipped the guy $2.

as he and i chatted i realized he didnt understand anything i was saying.

today when i emailed uber to see if they could start sending me my weekly summaries again – its been 8 months – i started to see that that guy didnt understand what i was saying either.

am i in some weird bubble? am i in a dream and i think im awake but im actually dozing on my couch while trying to watch a movie?

last night i was trying to watch Andy Griffith in the old film “A Face in the Crowd” but i kept falling asleep cuz it was midnight and im a very old person.

is this really my life? shouldnt i be doing something more interesting? more important? is that was z is doing? something of more value than blogging better than everyone else?

the cats are irritating me. actually only the boy. i used to like him better but now hes annoying. he puts his paw under my door at 4am so i throw a shoe at it. then a few minutes later he does it again so i storm to the door chase him around the living room and do the one thing i know he hates:

i trim a toe nail.

he struggles but i put a blanket over his head so he doesnt bite me.

its traumatizing and guess what – he knocks that shit off.

is that what ive evolved to? kitty trainer?

seems like it.