1. Sunday, June 21, 2015

    yesterday i had a really good day driving the people around the world 

    kourtney and kendallit started early. on fridays my real job has half days in the summer, so i was able to put in six hours of ubering and still have a decent personal life.

    i went to bed before midnight which meant i was up at 6am on saturday.

    also the cats were scratching at the door and some asswipe had his car alarm blaring.

    as jesse jackson once said at ucsb “where there is oppression there is opportunity.”

    so i ate a muffin, showered, read the paper and was out of the house at 7am.

    the goal for ubering that early is airport trips. on uber plus the rides can be about $50 to LAX which is still cheaper than cabs, and the ppl get to cruise in a sweet ass benzo. the driver gets about $35 and everybody wins.

    i like it also because theres no traffic and not a ton of competition because all the other dudes are snoozing because they drove all friday night.

    also theres no pukers.

    usually i drive up the sunset strip to pacific palisades in hopes of catching some of the hotel guests but ive rarely gotten any of those, weirdly, so i went down santa monica heading west.

    around Hancock Park i got a ping from a big house. first comes a lady with some luggage and after a while her husband appears. he looks like a pro soccer player: dark skinned, incredible shape, tattoos on his arms. they had a range rover and a porsche in the driveway.

    they talked to each other, i barely said anything during the 20 minute ride, which is rare, but early morning if a couple wants to talk to themselves, fine, i’ll just listen to the jazz i normally play on plus rides.

    we get to the mouth of LAX the woman says “merde, the flight is delayed.”

    they debate whether they want to sit in the terminal for two hours. here, for sure, im keeping my mouth shut.

    “take us back home please,” the woman finally says.

    we get back to their house, i take the bags out of the car, i think about giving them an offer to drive them back to LAX in an hour for a discounted rate, but theres no such option in Uber

    plus i dont know where im gonna be. so we shook hands, i told them, “sometimes these delays are times for them to fix something important on the plane.”

    they smiled. and i did too when i saw the fare was over $100.

    i went to mcdonalds to eat an egg white delight meal. the cashier guy said, are you a Cubs fan?

    i said, yes, are you?

    he said, no but i really respect their youth movement.

    is this real life?

    as i ate i left the phone on in the rare case that i got a ping, and half way into the sandwich it beeped.

    former supermodel heading to the mexican rivera and then europe.

    so glad i didnt commit myself to the soccer star.