you wanna make me laugh? tell me what i can do on the busblog


true story: today someone auditioned to be the editor of this blog.

they were all: you stop writing about me this instant!

i was like: OMG LOL ROFL

this blog has been around for centuries. maybe longer. ive done everything possible with this thing

IMG_0564except one: let someone else decide shit here.

my mom, the person i love the most in life, she has notes about the world famous

she tells them to me all the time “you seem too sad” “why do you swear so much?” “will you please stop writing about the xbi?” “was that really the best photo you could have used?”


and i listen to her say the words but i tell her ma i put nothing in here is true for you. you and you only. now its for you and you mostly. and i love her and i want her to be proud of me but no way can she be the executive editor of this.

so imagine when someone who is not my mother today not just asked but demanded that i do or not do something in this semi holy text? JUST IMAGINE!

dear person: you are ill. you are not thinking right. you know what you need to do and you wont do it.

it is not kill yourself. it is not act a fool. it is not avoid.

it is go to the place where they cure what you have and get it cured.

here are three things that you should not say to yourself about why you cant be cured

1. bullshit about time

2. malarkey about money

3. anything about me

a year ago almost to this day we saw young jeanine whine and bitch and scream and freak out and the two things she went on and on about were regarding to time and money

jimi and the monkeesthe lamest excuses the devil could ever put in our mouths.

and we did not listen to her. why? because she was being a crazy person who didnt really have a job and didnt really have a place to live and the world would be better and she would be better if she just did the right thing and jump into rehab. (which she did, thank god, praise Jesus)

well you, would-be busblog editor, are in the same boat. thats not a real job for someone your age and for sure thats not a real place to live.

which are not insults meant to hurt, those are observations from the world laser beamed to your heart via the busblog, purveyor of truth disguised as delicious poetry.

where you are is not where you think you are. you are in a very bad place and you are having a spotlight shined on it and boo hoo too bad, so what, now what

go: to the place: to get: cured.

you are being boring and typical and cliche and you are better than that.

you have seen the light and now you are turning your back on it. that is not only disrespectful but borderline sinful.

babies cry in heaven when they even hear that this is going on down here.

stop it. this minute. fix it. fucking fix it. go to the place and take on the issue that causes the issue and you will be free to do the scariest thing you have been avoiding for a decade:

your actual fucking life.

and to hell with everyone you know who is not saying the same.

they are not on your team.

this is the word of the busblog.

the cats were all, hey why are there bars on the windows

freedom frames

i was like, those arent bars, those are Freedom Frames.

jeanine is staying with me now for a little while.

the place she was subletting mysteriously had a problem with subleasing once the main tenant reneged on the deal. will jeanine get the balance of her rent back? probably not.

when people are on the spiral down, and know the correct decision is rehab, often those people refuse to take the correct route until things have completely fallen apart.

as long as other people are paying your rent, it’s tough to completely fall apart.

thats one of the lessons i learned the last time jeanine was crashing on my couch.

now almost exactly a year later, she is fully recovered, working, vibrant, alive, coherent, and sparkling new.

it’s a joy to have her back here. the cats feel the same way.

huge shoutout to the Clare foundation, the state federal government for subsidizing programs like theirs, and Bill the founder AA.