woke up this morning and the stock market was collapsing

uber on

it had lost 1,000 points before i could even get the paper.

my txt messages were streaming in

sell! buy! hold! sell! buy! ifyoudoanythingyoureanidiot!

one of my problems is im a sucker for deals.

if anything is on sale i’ll be tempted. and if it’s two things, man.

but 10 things?

like 10 shares of apple for a grand?

no way is that gonna stay at that price i thought.

it’s apple. the gold standard.

lolitathey “failed” with that stupid watch and things were still fine.

theyre gonna win again. they’ll think something up.

they’ll make a periscope or a “magazine” or a space ship.

didnt i hear they were gonna get into the tv business?

cars? car stereos? hoverboards? shape shifters?

who’s coming to get em? Google? ha!

whats Google done lately any good?

theyre following the leader. theyre gonna make self driving cars too.

good luck with that buddies. and get ready to get sued any time theres a car accident.

thats your fault google, you built it, not mine?


yahoo? no. one day Apple is gonna make a cheap version of their MacBooks and take the whole sector.

same with phones. not everyone has a grand to spend on a computer.

but 10 shares of stock? hmmmmm.

no way those 10 shares arent worth twice that in a year.

when they Have figured out the watch, and the tv, and the remote.

i need an apple remote.

i still have too many remotes.

why isnt my phone my remote? why do i have this tv remote, my Roku remote and my cable box remote?

where the fuck is Siri?

Siri turn on the damn tv.

You know it’s Wopner Time!

damn girl.

bought those shits at 100

and held my breath as they rose to 109 and settled at 103.

97 mo to go, ghost of steve jobs

97 mo to go