Christina Marrocco, who i first met in grade school, maybe first grade, asks

tigetsWhat are the three top ills of Old Chicago, and I don’t mean the defunct amusement park in Bolingbrook.

the rides were too tame, the lines were too long, and even though it was great that it was an indoor amusement park – oh wait NOT the fun Old Chicago, the real Old Chicago.

ok lets start with the weather. it was either way too hot or way too cold or way too rainy or just overall cruddy.

it’s like God wanted to punish the good people of Chicago for some sins they committed a super long time ago.

Richard Pryor used to joke about the wind, how it would wait for you around the corner and mug you as you were crossing the street and beat you down. but to me the wind figured out a way to get under your clothes. it was like mist. it could get through every strand of of fabric and then slap your skin with coldness.

if that wind was love instead of evil no one would ever move away. but alas…

then we’ve got the narrow mindedness. which is odd because your typical midwesterner of Old Chicago times had a heart of gold. theyd talk to you. theyd listen to you. theyd understand. but somehow theyd stop understanding.

was it racism? ignorance? foolishness? hard to say.

but i’ll tell you one thing that didnt help the situation then and doesnt help it now: the segregation. chicago is a city of neighborhoods but theyre all color coordinated. it’s ridiculous. even in the burbs you’ll see whole towns of blacks next to whole towns of people from India, next to whole towns of whites. wtf!?!?

the wind hates us all equally, people!

it’s almost as if the assbackwardness from southern illinois floats the wrong way up the mississip and infects chicago and spreads everywhichway. i blame the white sox.

finally the music. i dont know what it’s like now, but Old Chicago used to have the worst bands. God bless Cheap Trick, REO and Styx but when California got The Eagles, Chicago got Chicago.

uh, no thanx.