1. Wednesday, September 2, 2015

    ive had a good life, it’s ok 

    weirdnesshad dinner the other day with a pretty girl who asked me if i had ever been married.

    i wanted to respond like Long Duck Dong “mallied?”

    some of my friends are married, but my friends dont count because theyre the exceptions to every rule. and even a few of them are getting divorced.

    i am painfully romantic so i have no issues idealistically with a loving bond that lasts forever and ever but when you think about it it’s sorta nuts.

    so even though i havent intentionally avoided that whole business i am somewhat relieved that ive never gone down that path. likewise im glad i never tried heroin.

    im sure theres nice things about having a house and kids and all of that but its also nice to have peace and quiet when you want and wild fun when you want. im not someone who sleeps 12 hours on a saturday but im glad i could if i wanted to. freedom is relatively important to me.

    but with all of that said, i do look back fondly in the archives of this blog and say omg remember that. and i suppose it would be cool to do that with a person, instead of persons.

    even though i loved the persons. even though the persons were all unique and wonderful and challenging in their own ways.

    the question that i ask myself is did i grow more from being influenced by a variety of people more than if it had just been one

    but maybe thats rationalizing. even though its not. my weird little journey has been delightful. i can count the times ive cried on one hand. and most of those didnt have anything to do with women.

    have some of them lied to me, of course. people cray sometimes. am i confounded sometimes? def. but im cray too sometimes. all of this is a bizarre dance where the music changes as do the rules, all the time as the floor shifts. perhaps one reason some choose to marry is so Something in their lives can be stable during the slamdance.

    to me not being married after all these years is like not having a hottub in my front yard. it would be interesting and at times totally blissful. but who knew youd need so many chemicals.