1. Thursday, September 24, 2015

    last night i saw something i never saw ever in my whole time in LA 

    zombiesi was at a fabulous book release party for your girl AJ whose new book is called “Woman On Fire” which you can pre-order right now and it will arrive next week.

    we were on the rooftop of the Standard hotel in downtown LA.

    i was advised before i arrived that the rooftop bar has rules against baseball hats and any other sports-related clothing.

    which is really just code for, well, you know what it’s code for.

    so i left my Cubs hat at home, however if it wasnt for AJ i would have said f-you, the standard, this is america, i love the Cubs and ive lived perfectly well never returning to Harvard & Stone or The Edison for their similar uppity dress code.

    arrive, dont get carded because i look old, wait for the elevator, and hear the security guard tell a guy he cant go to the roof because he’s wearing flip flops. and i think, Jesus wore sandals, are you telling me the Messiah wouldnt be allowed up there neither?

    make it to the top and notice a super hot woman looking at her phone. then right away a guy who looked a shlubby as me taps her on the shoulder and says, “mandy?” she says, “hi fred.” and they dont hug, they just go to the elevator and go down.

    i was all, i think i just saw a hooker and a john!

    and america, i saw that same scene two or three other times last night on that rooftop. the same rooftop where you are not allowed to support your baseball team because that rooftop is so fucking classy.

    it did have great views and it was fantastic hanging with AJ and i believe i gave her a good idea about how to market her book in a way that literally involves fire.

    got a couple tacos on 7th street, took the subway home, and passed out with my pants on.