today’s mary’s birthday, shes 24

mary in central parkhow is she still alive?

how is she not in jail?

how does she not have like a hundred babies?

why isnt she on the real housewives of beverly hills?

mary, like destinys child, is a survivor. she has survived herself and most recently, burning man.

she sends me outfit-of-the-day pictures from time to time (who doesnt) and theyre always a marvel because she seems to never age.

she works hard, plays hard, and travels around the wessside like it aint no big thing. so maybe it isnt? she knows fun people and does interesting things all with a dog. how?

she just gets things done. anyone else would have imploded by now. anyone else’s dog would have made a big giant mess in the bathroom by now.

but mary carries on.

any time i dip my toe into an online dating sight or pass by a fortune teller they say why arent you and mary together? and i say let me count the ways.

im not a rich enough doctor. i live east of lincoln. and after my first girlfriend mary broke my heart ive sworn off marys.

todays birthday girl is on her way back from burningman, probably in a helicopter,

she might even be piloting it.

hopefully she doesnt get bored halfway and put it on autocopter, because there isnt such a thing.

but even if it crashes she will rise from the ashes with a laugh, a joke

and smokin hair.

happy birthday mary!

see you at the bungalow!