do you ever experience mood swings?

beyoncedo you ever feel super happy one minute and then terrible the next and you wanna just move back to maui and assume your title on the royal kawuuanuaan throne?

there are sooooo many bible stories that start off by saying things like King Leroy died and was replaced by his son King Melvin who also did evil in the eyes of the Lord…

i never wanna do evil in the eyes of the Lord.

i wanna do the opposite of evil so badly and i know that means to just keep fighting through the emotions.

emotions that i rarely have.

but i have them, canada, trust me, i do.

i may seem all cool calm and sexy on the outside like all the live long day but inside me, sometimes, there’s a tempest and a teapot

and im all “but f tea”!

i play fantasy sports, i do online gambling, i water the grass at the volunteer fire station, all so i can keep a handle on these rarely surfacing feels.

and usually it works but today was a tough one.

how can we be two games down to the miserable mets?

where did they come from?

we beat them 7 games to zero in the regular season. sure they didn’t have the Cuban. but one Cuban doesn’t make a spoiler.

it hasn’t even been the cuban that has killed us, its been their pitching and that one guy who said anti-homosexual stuff at the beginning of the season.

i keep telling myself this was not supposed to be the year, it was supposed to be next year.

BUT WHAT ABOUT BACK TO THE FUTURE PART II?

WHAT ABOUT BOB?

WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OLD PPL WHO MIGHT DIE BETWEEN NOW AND NEXT YEAR?

I hate that huge new scoreboard, I hate anti gay Mets, and I hate that Barack Obama isn’t gonna be at the game tomorrow to throw out the first pitch with a goat standing next to him so he can help end the curse.

I am feeling emotional right now.

dear tony, are the cubs slowly breaking our hearts (again)?

William Sianis and the goata wise man once said, a fool and his money are soon parted.

but what about a fool and his heart?

money is a chumps game, love on the other hand is what its all about.

love you can take with you. love is a many splendored thing. no matter what wall street decides to do with the imaginary valuation of this piece of paper or that one,

they can’t do anything about love love love.

and yet history will tell us that you dont fall in love with certain type of people (rock stars, models, and actors) and you should never trust the cubs winning the world series.

no one you know has ever seen it happen. and the last time the cubs got super close, half the league was fighting the damn nazis.

did i fall for the pretty smile that was the hot bats of this latest crop of rookies?

yes!

did i think that all we needed was arrietta and three days of wet weatha?

who didnt?

but im also a romantic. i believe that two hearts can beat as one. i trust that despite all the shiny flashy things that can distract the eyes are one thing but the magnetism of love, true love, can not be pulled apart.

but i am also a fool. who, like jon snow, knows nothing.

sometimes it doesnt matter who your manager is, who your GM be, how many homers you hit beating the number one team in baseball and before that the number two team, means nothing if youre cursed.

and if i was the rickets family, the owners of the cubs, i would fill the friendly confines with goats. it should be Goat Day tomorrow. bring a goat, get in free, bring a goat get a hat, bring goat meat get a free Old Style.

there should be goat shwarmas being sliced up beneath the stands, there should be goat blood shots being poured in the surrounding bars,

and before the game there should be goat races
around the bases

it’s so perfect it even rhymes.

something needs to change and since my heart wont, something else must. until then we will all wake up on mondays and face the cold hard reality that the cubs will remind us how big our hearts are because of the pain in having them crushed.